The Real Fight Was Just Lost

In case anyone hadn't noticed, I'm not a great fan of Jeremy Corbyn. In my opinion - and others are available - he's an incompetent, vote-losing waste of space. At a time when Labour should have got its act together - against Brexit, against austerity, against the erosion of civil liberties - they elected this bubble-dwelling hero of the megaphone. When they needed a united opposition to hold the Government to account, they asked a serial rebel without charisma or leadership skills to take it on.

And I know some say the terrorist-appeasing IRA fanboy is basically good at heart.

But even by his own standards of ineptitude, yesterday was amazing. After a vote in which he whipped the Parliamentary Labour Party to vote with the Government, he tweeted "Real fight starts now." 

Which is odd. I know that when I'm in a real fight I like to make sure I've got the best weapon available to me. Generally the old Slazenger V400. It's thirty years old, sure. But it's beautifully balanced. And you can tell the rozzers you're off for a quick net, if they ask why you're prowling the grounds in the evening looking for Burton Dasset.

But the point is - you need a decent weapon for a fight. And if you're leader of the Opposition in a parliamentary democracy, and the Government is pushing through a dubious vote with a thin majority - your vote would appear to be the weapon of choice. Some oratory saying that the Government has gone beyond its brief, is not going for the Brexit many people voted for, is ignoring the 48% who voted the other way, is embarked on a course of economic suicide - and you're going to vote against - that's surely how to conduct your fight. Give those who aren't that enamoured of either party something to believe in. Not this supine surrender, fearful of the UKIP challenge in the northern wastes (as seen from Holloway).

This is Spartacus, coming quietly and going back to the arena with no weapons while saying "real fight starts now." William Wallace saying "you're only gonna cut my favourite bits off while I'm half hanged, so I may as well not bother with the rebellion. Real fight starts now, by the way." Churchill saying he'll fight them on the beaches, then challenging Hitler to a sandcastle tournament.

Get off to Whitehall with your megaphone, Jeremy. Nip off to agree with Stop the War not to mention Assad. Go to a town hall and address your faithful under the dusty strip lights, while the darkness gathers outside. But don't forget - real fight starts now.