Church Definitions : Worship

Worship (n)

1. The act of expressing love to something, esp a deity
2. To ascribe worth to.
3. A period of singing during a church service (now moving into a time of...) between the bits that therefore aren't worship.
4. Not that the notices aren't worship. Oh no.
5. That's why we sometimes pray for the notices.
6. Can go on for hours sometimes, praying for the notices.
7. But it's quite boring so maybe it's not worship?
8. Try again... The parts of service that are interesting.
9. Except not the dismissal, though quite often that must be interesting as we're looking forward to it.
10. And you're going to have a cup of tea and then go into all the world (or mid Bedfordshire at least) and make disciples. Surely that must be worship?
11. Didn't George Herbert say something about sweeping floors? Can't see how that's worship. Cos it's not singing and it's not fun.
12. Unless you sing while you're sweeping the floor.
13. This is really tricky.
14. Frankly I wish I'd not started it.
15. And this isn't how dictionary definitions work.

---

By the creator of the Beaker Folk. "Writes of the Church" answers those all-important questions. How do you back the Sunday School Teacher when she's resigned? How do kids react if you run around with a pumpkin on your head? And what keeps you in church if you don't believe in God and you hate the worship?