Cold Weather Programme - Saturday

With the weather having been on the parky side, we're instigating the Cold Weather Liturgies. This morning's "Pouring out of Beakers" has now been redefined as a "Thawing out of Beakers", and will be held in the Dining Hall.

The "Liturgy of Remembrance of Old Ladies Wearing Dead Animals on Their Heads to Church" will be at 2pm. Please wear a dead animal on your head. You may have inherited one from your gran. If not, we have a fine collection of "dead animal hats" in the Beaker Bazaar. Guaranteed cruelty free. We make them from roadkill. In other news, it's "Country Stew" for dinner tonight.

Reminiscences of the Time the Vicar Froze Solid at the Baptism will be at 6pm in the Beaker Bar.

Filling up of Beakers takes place in the kitchen. At least we've got a kettle.

Apologies to all Beaker People whose rooms are cold this morning. We will give you a new system where you can pay for heating using a pre-paid card (available in the Beaker Bazaar). You may think this is a scam to take money off you by preying on your weakness. Well, the Magnificat reminds us that this will mean you're blessed in the end. Really, you should thank me.

The collection of appropriate items for the Food Bank is ongoing. Please only give until it hurts.

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From the creator of the Beaker Folk...

Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you. From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. And don't forget it's nearly Christmas!