The Incredible Shrinking Chocolate Bar

Spent this evening looking after Celestine while Keith and Charlii have been busy with the new addition, little Elvis.

And you know how it is. A long evening, watching rubbish telly and keeping a toddler entertained. Especially when, like Celestine, she's asking questions about whether Monarchian Modalism is the same as Sabellianism.

So naturally - you hit the chocolate. I assumed that Keith and Charlii had put in a supply of "fun size" chocolate bars. Until I realised that is the size that full-size bars of chocolate are now.

Now my memory may be playing me tricks. But I'm pretty sure that in the past, Wagon Wheels were wider than the average human mouth. Certainly they weren't so small you could put three in at once, were they? Although I admit that, after 4 hours of "Mr Tumble", I was in need of some comfort food.

Yorkies the same. In the old days, a Yorkie had 6 chunks and you couldn't even bite through it. When I was a kid, they brought out an even bigger bar that was allegedly big enough for "the driver and his mate." I'm not sure what his mate wanted from it. But I guess that with that "not for girls" slogan, there was something terribly homoerotic about the whole thing. Either way - those big bars, if dropped out of a lorry window, were big enough to block the M1 for days.

And Mars Bars.  I remember when, if you bought a Mars Bar home, you needed someone with a red flag walking in front of you. These days you have to put them under an electron microscope even to see them.

But you know what's really got my goat? The Maltesers. Am I imagining it, or in the old days did the competitors in "World's Strongest Man" have a task of lifting Maltesers onto pillars?  These days you don't even have to cut them in half to eat them.

I tell you. Chocolate ain't the same these days. Or is it just me?

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