A Day in the Life (of a Vicar)

I ripped out pews today, oh boy.
Took several years to get the faculty.
And though the choir is rather sad
We've lots of space to use
Now we've got fewer pews.

I said the Mass today, oh boy.
Or would have if I'd not been on my own.
And so I said a midday prayer.
It was from Lindisfarne
Written by a bunch of folk who like to worship in a barn.

We had a PCC, oh boy.
They asked if we could re-instate the pews.
I said we voted years ago.
They said they didn't care.
They wish the pews were there.
I'd love to retire.

Woke up, fell out of bed
Stuck a collar in my shirt.
Put the kettle on and fed the dog
And looking up I noticed I was late
Took the coffee out the house
Made the church in seconds flat
To the side chapel for morning prayer
And twenty minutes later, still nobody was there.

I went to visit Ann today.
She's getting weaker. She won't last till Spring.
She didn't recognise my face
Still, in bread He was there.
She remembered how to say the 1662 Lord's Prayer.
I'm glad that I  was there.

---

Want to support this blog? Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you. From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.