A Liturgy of 5G

Conducted via Zoom. Some Beaker Folk, joining by phone, may well be using 5G without realising it

Archdruid: Save us from 5G, O God we pray.

All: Because there is a virus throughout this land. And other lands where this is no 5G. So clearly 5G is responsible.

Archdruid: After all, look at all the evidence.

All: We wander through the nations, looking for evidence. But we find none.

Archdruid: Because there is no evidence. I was leading you down the garden path to see how foolish you are.

All: Because the Government, knowing that there is a direct link, and knowing that the NHS is struggling, and good people are dying, has decided they really want to keep this deadly disease going and reduce their tax take and crash the economy and do a load of other destructive things even knowing it has put them and their family members in hospital?

Archdruid: Even though there is pretty conclusive proof that this Government is capable of doing really stupid things - eg Brexit - no. Because there is no evidence. No links. No correlation, let alone causation.

All: But Eamonn Holmes appears to be keeping an open mind.

Archdruid: Then maybe, as the great bard Steve Taylor once said, that's why his brain's fallen out. Is Eamonn Holmes a virologist?

All: No.

Archdruid: Is he an epidemiologist?

All: No.

Archdruid: Is he a biologist?

All: No.

Archdruid: Is he an expert in the effects of the electromagnetic spectrum on the human organism?

All: Probably not.

Archdruid: Is he a bloke whose main skill is sitting on a couch in the morning?

All: Yes.

Archdruid: And that qualifies him does it? Any more than Toby Young's degree in PPE (not personal protective equipment - the other one) qualifies him in understanding an epidemic?

All: We have seen the error of our ways. We repent of our gullibility and will be more sensible in future - prepared to listen to proper scientists and not chat show hosts and conspiracy theorists.

Archdruid: Really?

All: Have you seen this thing on Facebook? Martin's an estate agent, and he reckons that 5G weakens our immune systems on the sub-quantum level and we need to eat more turmeric...

---

Please support this blog