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way it just sounds like a natural variation, rather than a freefall. And the Church of England does it as well. Redefines things to sound better, I mean. Not decline. Though yes, also decline. So they go with"Statistics for Mission". Or, to put it another way, "Statistics for how badly mission is going." And of course, with the Church of England, the term gives everyone the chance to start to argue about what they mean by "mission". In a very real sense.
And so, with the turning of the years, the Church of England Statistics for Mission are in and David Keen at Opinionated Vicar has the annual job of telling us how bad they are. But why?
I mean, not the right answers. Which answers can you give that reassure yourself that it's all somebody else's fault?
Here's the Beaker List of Reasons why the Church of England is Declining. Normally I'd knock up a bit of Javascript or do a Bingo Card. But I can't be bothered. So instead... feel free to choose your own. Then find someone else on Twitter who thinks it's another one. And let Armageddon commence.
- Tolerance of gay People
- Intolerance of gay People
- Women priests
- Informality
- Vicars arguing on Twitter
- The Permissive Society
- Too much old-fashioned liturgy
- Using the Book of Common Prayer
- Lack of equality for women
- The loss of belief after the First World War
- Irrelevant
- Too cold
- Too old
- Too mouldy
- No incense
- No interest
- Guitars
- Kids playing football on Sundays
- Telly
- The Internet
- The electric telegraph
- It all went wrong after William Temple
- It all went wrong with William Temple
- Safeguarding failures
- Overbearing safeguarding rules
- Quentin Letts
- Too left-wing
- Too much Establishment
- No loos
- Vicar got loos installed - ruined the architecture
- Great-aunt Angie had a row with the vicar in 1963
- Bunch of Trots
- Tory Party at Prayer
- Too woke
- Too asleep
- Church acts like God doesn't exist
- Church acts like God does exist
- God doesn't exist
- No belief in the Bible
- Bible-bashing fundamentalists
- Doesn't look a thing like Jesus
- Vicar talks like a gentleman
- Evanjellycals*
- Smells funny
- Always after money
- Always after food bank donations
- Control freaky vicars
- No strong leadership
- It's all a bit odd
- Silly blogs
*Would any grown-up use such a silly term? I can only apologise. Don't know what made me think of it
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Of course, none of these apply to the disestablished Church in Wales...
ReplyDeleteYou x 50 x n
ReplyDeleteI don't recognise many of these. I thought that it was the cold draughty parsonages being replaced by 2 up/2 down new builds with Wimpey labels that was doing it. Afterall the old parsonages had loads of rooms for church groups, curates, children, large gardens for fetes, large rooms or halls close by for the Mothers Union, Boys and Girls Brigades, SSAFA Meetings, War Memorial Committee meetings, Scout, Guides, Brownies, Cubs, Rainbows (other groups are available) and even the Parish Soccer Team to play matches in the garden. I blame the Bishops, who still live in palaces, while their Arch Deacons live in Mansions and the rest of us are confined to Victorian terraces, 2up/2down and an outside toilet.
ReplyDeleteReplace "vicars" with "priests", the BCP with the Missale Romanum, "William Temple" with and 20th-century Pope, "Quentin Letts" with "Damian Thompson", "Tory" with any abusive term you choose (ask Pope Francis for suggestions), and Bingo! you've got two for the price of one, the second being the Church of Rome. Almost as if we're in the same business, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteUncanny.
DeleteI enjoyed your (not-so) subtle Killers reference - thank-you!
ReplyDeleteA pleasure!
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