The Complete A to Z of Modern Heresies

Much excitement as the Bishop of Reading manages a short sermon on the Care of Creation which has been accused of heresy - either pantheism (the belief that the divine is the universe) or panentheism (the belief that the divine is the universe, and a bit more besides). For myself, I think she just went for a striking image and missed. I'd always blame poor communication over heresy. Just look at the Charge of the Light Brigade. That wasn't heresy caused that. But in these strange times, what other heresies can we expect among the plagues and the strange men who claim to be able to cure the plague with their own cleverness? Here's the modern A to Z of heresy.

Antandecianism	Being prepared to forgive what you would otherwise think was unforgivable, because the person is famous.
Aryanism	Thinking God's image is more white than black.
Borisism	Like Antinomianism, but only for one bloke and his mates.
Collieridianism	Obsession with posting pictures of your dog on Facebook
Doggietism	Like Collieridianism, but with other, lesser breeds
Macedoineianism	Giving posh French-sounding names to normal English food like mixed veg or fruit salad
Manicheesism	The belief that having the best selection of cheeses on your cheeseboard marks out your spiritual superiority
Monarchianism	Reading the Royalty columns of the Daily Express and hating Meghan Markle
Monotellyism	Not having a TV in every room, and expecting all the family to gather round for Coronation Street
Pantenetheism*	Idolatory of a worship leader with good hair
Passivaggresivism	Well, you would say I'm a heretic. (see also: Whataboutism)
Pastypassurianism	Obsession with eating at Greggs, with resultant suffering
Pricillaism	Believing heaven can be achieved if you watch enough feel-good films
Pantenetheism	Idolatory of a worship leader with good hair
Pantheism	Idolatory of celebrity chefs
Hemi-Demi-Semi-Pelagianism	Admitting the possibility of a very slight active involvement of the human will in salvation, but only if you're a really good musician.
Whataboutism	I heard your sermon last week and you didn't really understand the historical context of Nehemiah so why are you picking on my heresy?
Zoomoastrianism	Belief that online worship isn't "real" worship as real worship has to be embodied (by people with fully-functioning bodies) in a real building.

* with thanks to Rachel, who inspired this thread with "Pantenetheism" beyond which all other heresies are as merely human imaginings.

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