Litany of Covidian Wrongness

 Archdruid: It's just like flu.

All: It's only in China.

Archdruid: It's just a few cases.

All: Take it on the chin.

Archdruid: Maybe we could let it pass through the population?

All: Isolate all 20 million vulnerable and 20 million over 60s.

Archdruid: Lockdowns don't work.

All: Drink lots of fluids.

Archdruid: Pour hot water up your nose.

All: Put some kind of light into your body?

Archdruid: It fizzled out in the summer.

All: Normal by the autumn.

Archdruid: Kids don't get it.

All: Smokers don't get it.

Archdruid: We're all already immune.

All: Everyone in London's had it already.

Archdruid: Sunetra Gupta says it's not going to spread.

All: Telegraph says get back to work.

Archdruid: Toby Young says it's not as bad as you think.

All: My friend Andii on the Internet says her sister knows a nurse at the UCL and all they're doing is playing cards and Tik-Tok videos. And they all know it's a hoax.

Archdruid: It's just the flu.

All: Didn't you do that one?

Archdruid: You mean I can't be wrong twice?

All: Pubs are safe.

Archdruid: Normal by Easter.

All: Subsidise bus travel for Christmas.

Archdruid: Sweden's got the right idea.

All: Masks don't work.

Archdruid: It'll evolve to get weaker.

All: It's a Big Pharma conspiracy.

Archdruid: There won't be a second wave.

All: There won't be a third wave.

Archdruid: People still went to church in 1919.

All: People still went to church during the Black Death.

Archdruid: Schoolteachers are slackers.

All: If you didn't test people they wouldn't die so much.

Archdruid: My mate killed himself by dropping a washing machine on his head.

All: Death certificate still said Covid.

Archdruid: James Delingpole should wear a mask.

All: To prevent infection?

Archdruid: That and I just don't like his face.

All: That Allison Pearson has some good ideas.

Archdruid: It's 5G causing it.

All: It was invented in a lab.

Archdruid: Vaccines contain microchips.

All: Isn't that McCains?

Archdruid: My friend Archie says he had it Christmas before last. Go figure.

All: My mate works in Specsavers in Bishop's Auckland as it goes. Says he never saw Dominic Cummings all spring.

Archdruid: Christopher Whitty should resign for wanting lockdowns.

All: Christopher Whitty should resign for not wanting lockdowns.

Archdruid: It's a police state.

All: It's a global conspiracy.

Archdruid: People of faith won't get it in church.

All: Does that mean liberals are at more risk than evangelicals?

Dismissal

Archdruid: Go out into the world....

All: Don't think so.