Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Cat walks in front of camera*
Archdruid: Bum. Start again.
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Sound of toilet flushing next door*
Archdruid: Rats. Start again.
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Cat walks back across camera*
Archdruid: Bum. Start again.
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Dog chases cat across desk*
Archdruid: I haven't even got a dog....
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Cat starts knocking books out of bookshelf*
*Archdruid throws cat out of window*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Young Keith starts up soup maker*
Archdruid: KEITH! I'M RECORDING!
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Little Celestine walks in with her new toy tank*
Celestine: Nanna - tank! Kill Russians!
Archdruid: That's very nice, Celestine. Why don't you go and invade Woburn Sands?
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Phone rings*
*Archdruid throws phone out of window*
*Yowl from Grendel the cat, who has been hit by the phone*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Dog jumps out of window after cat*
*Sound of cat and dog fight*
*Archdruid throws bucket of water out of window*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Sound of email arriving on laptop*
*Sound of Archdruid's head banging on desk repeatedly*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Sound of Grade 2 level violin practice*
*Sound of window slamming shut*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Coldstream Guards march across the gravel garden playing Sweet Georgia Brown*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Pigeon flies into window*
*Sound of pigeon sliding down window*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Boris Johnson walks behind desk dressed in PPE and gazing at a fake vial of vaccine*
*Sound of Boris Johnson being beaten with Lubert Stryer's Biochemistry (2nd ed)*
*pause*
Archdruid: Peace be with you....
Archdruid: And also with you.
*Paraglider crash-lands and comes through roof*
*pause*
Archdruid: Go into the world with the sun on your hair, the wind in your back, the hills on your face, and the snails rise up to greet you. Until we meet again. Amen.
*Beep of camera switching off*
I have to say that the Arch Druid keeps company of Animals, Politicians and Para Gliders. It is an interesting dilemma whether you try to record via the internet of stand at the attic window with a bull horn to get your message across. Perhaps you need to build a Mosque with a Minerat to proclaim from?
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