Cross Keys Enterprises Announces the Jesus in The Holy LandTour 27-30AD

 St Peter is proud (but not too much, as that would be a sin) to announce the Jesus in the Holy Land Tour, 27-30AD. Although we're not sure what the AD means. Precise dates can be confirmed when he actually turns up.

• Capernaum
• Bethany-Across-Jordan
• Judean Desert
• Cana
• Capernaum
• Jerusalem
• Judean Countryside
• Samaria
• Jerusalem
• Some hill in Galilee
• Capernaum
• Nain
• Gadarenes
• Capernaum
• Nazareth
• Bethsaida
• Gennesaret
• Tyre
• The Decapolis
• Magadan
• Bethsaida
• Caesarea Philippi
• Mt Tabor
• Jerusalem
• Bethany
• Ephraim
• Perea
• Jericho
• Jerusalem
• Bethany
• Mount of Olives
  
• Calvary

Also available the Premium Jesus Experience

For the low price of everything, you can experience Jesus's difficult explanations of parables. Get called "Satan". Be told you will be persecuted and die. And then be persecuted and die. Benefits include:

• Pre-show bread and wine before this is opened up to the general public
  
• The chance to be rejected by your loved ones
• Selling all you have and giving to the poor
• Having to love people you don't like
• Being dragged before your persecutors
  
• A place in heaven
• Souvenir lanyard
  

Merchandise available

• One pair of sandals
• No extra T-shirt
• 5 loaves and 2 fish
• Palm leaves