Nativity of Norman Clegg (Peter Sallis) 1921

Hymn: On Ilkley Moor Baht 'At

Archdruid: 'Ow do.

All: 'Ow do to you too.

Archdruid: It'll be dark by nightfall.

All: Can we push the old bloke down a hill in a bath tub now?

Archdruid: We've got to have some whimsical musings on life first.

All: What's that we hear on the wind?

Archdruid: The sound of little creatures eating other creatures.

All: That's not whimsical.

Archdruid: OK - can we have the incompetent driver to do his incompetent driving display?

All: He drove into the gate.

Archdruid: What about the bloke sitting in a giant wheel, driven on lots of little wheels?

All: Landed in the river.

Archdruid: The three old blokes on bikes joined together for no obvious reason?

All: Flew over the wall.

Archdruid: The old bloke in a boat?

All: Sank.

Archdruid: The shifty-looking bloke with a nervous twitch?

All: Cycled off with the peroxide blonde.

Archdruid: OK. Push the old bloke down the hill in a bathtub.

Old Bloke: Noraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Archdruid: And so let us commend Norman Clegg, I mean Peter Sallis, to the Old Yorkshire gods: Sam and Earnshaw.

All: 'Ow do, Sam! 'Ow do, Earnshaw!

Archdruid: It'll be dark by nightfall.

All: And also with you.

Hymn: Compo has Gone and Lost His Wellies