Liturgy for Hearing Peter Bone Has Been Made Deputy Leader of the House of Commons

 Archdruid: I'm sorry?

All: You what?

Young Keith: You having a giraffe?

Charlii: Is that even a job?

All: Is he even a real human being?

Archdruid: We're just being trolled now.

Hnaef: Yeah. Dead cat. What's Johnson trying to hide?

Daphne: Well, he's kind of resigned.

Archdruid: And all the Tories are jostling to be leader.

Burton Dasset: And he knows he can't even have his wedding reception at Chequers.

All: And even the Mail is having to admit he's a dead loss.

Archdruid: So there's only one conclusion.

All: He's having a laugh.

Archdruid: It's all been a laugh. Getting Brexit done.

All: Having a laugh.

Archdruid: Parties during lockdown.

All: Having a laugh.

Archdruid: Telling the 1922 he'd do it all again.

All: Having a laugh.

Archdruid: Anyone think it's funny?

Burton Dasset: Well, he's just an ordinary bloke we can all get on with...

Burton may be pelted with marshmallows.