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Sunday, 7 September 2025

Liturgy for the Removal of a Greenbelt Wristband

A yellow GB wristband

Brizewold is brought in front of the assembled Beaker Folk

Archdruid: Forasmuch as Brizewold has now been wearing his Greenbelt wristband for 3 weeks; 

All: And it's looking a bit tattered and grubby;

Archdruid: And worse, he won't take a shower in case he makes it swell or go mouldy or fall off;

All: And he stinketh to high heaven - worse even than  the latrines at Greenbelt during the 80s 

Archdruid: Therefore it is time Brizewold removed the wristband.

Brizewold: No! It's my friend!

Hnaef: It's not your friend, Brizewold.

Charlii: Although, to be fair, it does have more personality than you by now.

Archdruid: Bring on the wristband removers! 

All: Bring them on! 

Archdruid: Bring on the wristband removers! 

All: Bring them on! 

Brizewold: No! No! 

Hnaef: It's only a pair of scissors.

Archdruid: Where's your sense of occasion?

Brizeworld: Oh no! I can't use them left handed! What a shame!

Archdruid: OK. Hold him down.

Brizewold: Look! I can use them left handed!

All: A miracle! A miracle!

He removes the wristband.

Archdruid: I declare that Brizewold, having removed his wristband, really needs to go and get a wash. 

Brizewold: I will mount it in the frame with all the others.

All: Thanks be. 

An Emergency Alarm may unexpectedly go off. This is totally unrelated, but may be taken by some as a sign.


With thanks to the donor for the wristband image.



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