Shine on Harvest Moon

Since we had that frost last week, I am officially declaring tomorrow's full moon to be the Harvest Moon. Please note the following carefully for this year's arrangements.

The Milton Keynes Single Mothers' club has had to be suspended since the 275 pumpkins that were contributed to them last year just lay there and rotted. This follows on from the previous year, when all those lettuces had wilted by the time we got them to the Rabbit Refuge. And some members of the Mothers' Union got all over-excited by Hnaef's collection of novelty parsnips. So just tins of beans this year, please.

Contrary to the rumour that went around last year, we do not have to sacrifice anyone to the God of the Corn. We are a peaceful religion, and do not sacrifice anyone to anything. Poor Drayton got very nervous last year, what with Young Keith following him around with a tape measure and a frying pan.

Burton has promised to dress up as Jack in the Green. We've explained his costume and duties very carefully to him, as it was rather embarrassing last year when Hnaef, under a misapprehension, got dressed up as Jack in the Box instead. I never want to have to remove a Beaker Person from a spring that size again, as long as I live.

The enactment of Bacchanalian revels last year got a bit out of hand. Perhaps we could go for a tableau of people reaping this year, instead?

And finally the perennial reminder - no matter how tempting or how autumnal, we do not want the mass-release of a horde of woodland creatures into the Moot House at any point in the ceremonies. Somehow every year someone gets over-excited and we end up over-run by panic struck rabbits, foxes and squirrels. Last year was definitely the worst, and I do not, under any circumstances, want to face another badger in a mood like that.