The Husborne Crawley Holly

"And did those feet, in ancient times, walk upon Crawley's pastures green

and was the holy Lamb of God in Woburn's Wolf Enclosure seen?
And did the countenance divine gaze on the White Horse and the green?
and was Jerusalem builded here, handy for M1 Junction 13?"

And to all those questions, maybe the answer was yes.  With the typical thoroughness that the Beaker Folk bring to these issues, we can definitively say that there is no evidence that Joseph of Arimathea did not visit Husborne Crawley at some point in the 1st century.  Clearly the village that Joseph saw would have been very different from today.  For starters it would have had a different name - Husbornus Crawlicus, or something very like it.  The Beaker Folk of the day would have been wearing togas, instead of hi-viz.  And they'd probably have been living off snails and edible dormice, rather than the roadkill from the motorway.

But we are happy also to celebrate the connections.  For example, a large holly tree that we have growing on the South Lawn is probably big enough to have been planted by Joseph himself.  We have no evidence of this, but the only way to disprove it would be to cut it down and count the rings.  And clearly that would be sacrilege.

So if you come down to the Husborne Crawley Reliquary, we will be happy to show you Joseph of Arimathea's toenails clippings, recently discovered in a tealight holder in the Orchard.  We haven't actually had them carbon dated, as this would be highly disrespectful to such a venerated symbol of the faith.  Just be awe-struck at a connection through 20 centuries - back to a point half-way through the history of Beakerdom itself.  And reflect on the holy saints that have carried the Beaker light through the ages - Joseph of Arimathea, Archdruid Eileen, William Mcgonagall, William Stukeley, Stig of the Dump, Ug the Woadmonger - all with connections to the Husborne Crawley area (Stukeley passed nearby, on his way to Stonehenge).  We are struck with humility and awe even at the thought.