Global Warming Action Day

Despite the evidence of thriving populations of polar bears, and it being ten years since the warmest year globally recorded, we remain ever-vigilant to the dangers of global warming.  After all, it was the original Beaker People that invented global warming. Faced with the danger of a new ice age, they burnt down all the forests to keep the temperature up.  Thus proving that it is possible to work with Mother Gaia in a constructive, but forest-burning, kind of way.

I think we can show our commitment through the following initatives that we carried out over the last six months:

• We've been heating the Great House by burning old tyes in the wood burning stove. OK we've had to buy a new stove after the old one filled up with toxic rubber compounds, but you've got to make sacrifices.
  
• We've been recycling all the empty aluminium cases from our tea lights into a giant statue of Al Gore, instead of burying them in the orchard like we used to.
  
• We buried all the pumpkin pulp after the Parade of Pumpkins, at a depth of half a mile. The JCB we used may have emitted some carbon dioxide - but we offset this by only drinking non-fizzy beer.
  
• To avoid pilgrims bringing their 4x4s into Husborne Crawley, we've been setting an example by getting them to park at Cranfield Aerodrome and then bringing them in by helicopter.
  
• Realising that the windows in the Great House were wood-framed, we ripped them out, burnt the frames, and replaced them with U-PVC.  So much warmer, and they'll last forever.  The Planning Committee didn't like it, but we've blackmailed them.
• We've stopped Burton from eating any more lentils.
  
• Since we heard that mature woodlands are actually a net creator of carbon dioxiode, we've burnt down the spinney.
  
• We're really keen on recycling bottles. Especially the milk bottles we get delivered each morning. Every day, without fail, we drive them over to Leighton Buzzard to put them in the bottle bank.
  
• We've kidnapped a couple of pandas from the Safari Park.  Strictly speaking this doesn't reduce global warming or increase biodiversity, but they're just so cute.

www.blogactionday.org