Prize Giving

I can only say how humbled I am to have received an Oscar for best actress.  That the sole acting role of my life is in a home video of Hnaef's called "The Beaker Folk Take Walsingham" only adds to my surprise.  I shall endeavour to stay centred.  I would thank all the people that have contributed to my success in this role, but in fact it was all down to me.

Likewise, I am honoured and humbled to have received the Man Booker Prize for Fiction.  Not least because it was for my leaflet "Places to Eat in Husborne Crawley".  Even more so because it is a very small leaflet as there are only two places to eat in Husborne Crawley and one of them is the transport cafe at Junction 13.

And then there's the Turner Prize.  I am delighted, honoured and humbled.  Again, my installation "Tea Light on the Altar" was something I just threw together for a Healing Service.  I wasn't even aware that Young Keith had taken a photo of it, or indeed that it counted as art, until I won the Turner.

The ITV British Comedy award was less of a shock, as I told Ant and Dec that either I won it or we'd be reversing a tradition by feeding parts of them to a kangaroo.