Commemoration of Edward Woodward

Dress code:  Scottish islanders and illiterate yokels, with a scattering of Government hit-men and freelance trouble-shooting hardmen.  Definitely no hi-viz, it makes you an easier target.

Archdruid: We come to burn the wicker man, in memory of Callan's greatest scene.  Well, obviously not Callan.  The bloke who played him, may he rest in peace.


All: Can we do anything for you, Archdruid?  

Archdruid:  No, I doubt it, seeing you're all raving mad!  
 
All:          Have  we got the sacrificial schmuck?

Earwig: A man who would come here of his own free will.

Burton:  A man who has come here with the power of a king. By representing the law...

Drayton: A man who would come here as a virgin...

Hnaef: A man who has come here as a fool!

Young Keith's Uncle the Police Officer:  Do you know what, I'm feeling a bit nervous about all this...  Look, I've been happily married for years.

All:  It's all right... we're only joking!

Closing hymn - Summer is icumen in.

The Wicker Man is burnt as a final salute to the great Edward Woodward.

Archdruid: In the end, there's only one great Equalizer....

No  police officers were harmed in the making of this liturgy.