The tealight is passed on... again...

Dear readers, such a day as I've had. I haven't seen such strife in Husborne Crawley since last time there was strife in Husborne Crawley.

In her desperate attempt to chase away the dark, the Archdruid has spent half the day in the stones 'n' tealights section of Morrison's. When they ran out she moved on to Dunelm and then Tesco. She's now in serious danger of burning down the doily shed with the thousands of candles she's purchased, and there's an overpowering smell of vanilla and clouds of lemonbalm and incense hovering over the place.

And then Drayton Parslow's attempt to instil some Baptist rectitude into us all was not a great success. This morning's three-hour sermon "Stop doing that and do what God says instead" mostly consisted of Drayton giving us the sordid details of all sorts of sins, which got some of the Beaker People quite excited. But Drayton then told them that was just the sort of thing they were all going to have to sign an agreement not to do. And interest evaporated at that point.

In the afternoon, Elbert spent the whole time at Drayton's "Science and Religion - why Scientists are Evil" workshop pointing out that Drayton's Creationism was rubbish, and why. In Elbert's words, "scientific evidence and rationality beat wishful thinking every time". Which, by the time they'd unpacked it, actually annoyed everyone even more than Drayton's claim that Stonehenge was washed from the Marlborough Downs and South Wales to Salisbury Plain by the onrushing waters of the Flood.

And then at 5pm the next of Drayton's services started. But the promise that, at the end, he would make us all sing "Just as I am" forever or until we all repented and converted, was the straw that broke the camel's back. Dear Readers, Drayton was locked in St Bogwulf's chapel and will be let out at supper time. Since he thinks he's being persecuted, he's quite happy. But that left us without an evening ritual - Eileen having taken the large Beakers we use for filling up and pouring out. She's filled them with petrol and is using them as rather dangerous-looking torches.

The Hnaefs had to nip off for their evening archery class of people with no thumbs. So they asked me to lead the  Folk in their evening spiritual devotions. Give them your testimony, they said. So I did.

And I explained how Accountancy is the Buddhism  of the Business world - how the Yin of Credit matches the Yang of Debit, and at the end all is equal. And I showed them how, through a depreciation here and an amortisation there, we can reach the perfect Finance Nirvana where all is written off, the sheet is balanced, the assets are registered and there are neither profit nor loss, but only bonuses.

Unfortunately, Dear Readers, such is my rapture when I expound on my calling and faith that, when I opened my eyes after discussing the capital treatment of software development (always a thorny subject), I found they'd all headed off for an early-evening Friday Night at the White Horse. So I'm going to get on with a little light auditing while I wait for them to come back. I hope Eileen cheers up soon.