What would Jesus Eat?

Sometimes there is something so obvious that you miss it. It is like an ink-smudge on a piece of paper, which - when you focus in the right way - turns out to be a perfect profile likeness of Charles Spurgeon. A miracle, and one that does not involve the Virgin Mary.

But this was like a bolt from the blue. A sudden grasping of the facts, as when you realise that the history and science of the world really are determined by the book of Genesis.

Marjorie and I have been discussing the best way we could lose a few pounds. Not that I would accuse Marjorie of needing to lose a few pounds - that would be tantamount to a suicide. Which I believe, in what I call my state of assurance (although Eileen calls it "a total lack of empathy") to be a sin.

But I have realised that if one is to reach a truly godly shape, one should eat a truly godly diet. And therefore Marjorie and I are adopting the following rules. Essentially, if it is mentioned in the New Testament (under Grace) it is permitted. Otherwise it is an abomination. I am sure we will soon be healthier and holier.

Permitted	Forbidden
Wheat	Tares
Grape Juice (or "wine" in the NT Greek)	Real wine
Lamb	Black Pudding
Bread	Pizza
Grapes	Figs (cursed by The Lord)
Loaves and Fishes	Bread made from stones.

As mentioned in the past, pomegranates are out of the question. They are referred to in the Old but not the New Testament, and are far too exciting when referred to in the Song of Solomon. I'm not sure Marjorie would trust me with a pomegranate.