If Job Interviews were like the X-factor

Mr Walsh: So then - Kayleigh. Can you tell me about your current job?

Kayleigh: It's as an administrative assistant in the buying department of a national fish wholesaler.

Mr Walsh: And can you tell me about a particularly challenging project you've had to undertake there?

Kayleigh: I had to investigate the relative cost prices of haddock and cod from different suppliers and fisheries, and summarise them into a table. An Excel Table that I embedded into a Word document. A Word document containing words that I wrote myself, straight from the heart. My own words.  Mr Walsh, I gave that document everything I had. It was the most important thing I ever did. I put my heart and soul into that project, Mr Walsh. [Cries]

Mr Walsh: And would you say that your made that document your own?

Kayleigh: It was my own. I even put my name at the top of it. And I tracked changes, and everywhere it had been revised it said "Kayleigh Daly". And Mr Walsh - that was my document. If that document ever belonged to anyone, it belong to me. And if any document ever belonged to me - it was that document.

Mr Walsh: You owned that document?

Kayleigh: It was owned by me more than it was ever owned by anyone else. [Breaks down]

Mr Walsh: So, Kayleigh - why do you think you would make a successful administrative assistant at Amalgamated British Prawns?

Kayleigh: I just want this job more than anything else I've ever wanted in my life. I don't want to be a nobody - I want to be a somebody. Somebody who was born to buy prawns. [Sobs]

Mr Walsh: So why do you want to buy prawns?

Kayleigh: I think about the ones waiting for me, back at home.

Mr Walsh: Your children?

Kayleigh: My cats. Binky and Mr Flat-Face.

Mr Walsh: Mr Flat-Face?

Kayleigh: He was born with no depth perception. Every time he tries to jump onto a wall he smashes straight into it. I owe it to Mr Flat-Face. The thought of him jumping onto my lap - and missing - when I sit down this evening, and saying to him - "Mr Flat-Face. I'm afraid it's value-price dry cat food again" - when it could be the delicious off-cuts of prawn at discount prices that I'd be entitled to buy if I worked here.... [Sobs] I just don't think I could do that to him. And that's why this job means everything to me.

Mr Walsh: Well thanks, Kayleigh. But finally, tell me - I take it you're named after the Marillion song?

Kayleigh: That's right. My parents loved it - "Chocolates melting on a playground wall..."

Mr Walsh: I think you'll find that's "Chalk hearts"?

Kayleigh: Oh, is it? Do you think maybe I'm.... a little hard of hearing? Mr Walsh - is it true that every day I'm overcoming a drawback I never even knew I had?

Mr Walsh: That's some back-story, Kayleigh. And you really owned this interview. I think we've come on a real journey. But there were twenty-four people applying for this job, and I can only put four through to the next round of interviews. Kaleigh..... It won't be you..... who I'll be disappointing. You're through to the next round!

Kayleigh: [Breaks down in tears] I did it for Mr Flat-Face. Oh, thank you, Mr Walsh. [They hug]