(An electronic text that has fallen through a wormhole from 1 million AD (After Darwin)
N so we kn c how the hmn race evolved fru t use f fums.
Twas t smrtfone made tlkin fru ur fums ez. N at 1st twas jst supplementary 2 oral comms. But wiv txt n Twitter (may its name b blessed) this all changed. Ppl dint need 2 speak ne more. Stead f fonin they'd txt. N then std of meetin up they'd tweet-up.
N when comms fru keyboard was more widely used than speakin t ppl best able to find mates was ones wiv dextrous fums. N so was competitive selection n the fums genes prevailed.
In fact by time ppl wd just txt each uva evn f they was sittin nxt 2 each uva there was a nu jump 4wd. A mutatiom arose where pls speech centres in their brains bekum more closely wired 2 their hands. Wiv no need 4 oral speech they lost the ability to use it. Spoken language woz last heard n a backward tribe of "Cockernees", in a place called Walthamstow, morn 500,000 yrs ago.
2day, freed from the thought-forms enforced by the tyranny of oral speech, we k express ourselves more beautifully thn those primitive Homo Nokians, r ancestors fm the distant past. But woy hv we lost? As r fums bk more dextrous, we k no longer push drawing pins in2 walls. We k no longer hold heavy objects like those brutes did - brooms or kettles. Tug-of-war is a game of the past. We must control all r liftin machines fru our fones. But we have gained beautiful, useful fums. In jst 1M yrs we hv kum along way.
Mks me thnk F 2 Rnnes:
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Homo Nokians an evolutionary dead-end. Homo Androidicus had the advantage when it came to wielding communication tools and Tweeting about where the best source of hamburgers were. Pity Homo Androidicus also eventually died out through obesity.
ReplyDeleteTrue, and Homo Ipadensis Applii died out due to the over-secretion of smug.
DeleteThe only way I could make any sense at all from the concatenaction of letters and numerals above was to read it out loud (with the assistance of my offspring). That must be because I have entered my third quarter century while they are still close to their first quarter century.
ReplyDeleteI have heard a rumour that Japanese people's thumbs are longer and thicker and stronger than they were a generation ago. Has anyone told the people who make gloves what is going on?
They always struggle behind. I notice that chairs are a lot snugger than they used to be, as well.
Deleteu no dat it mde sens tu do dat. nu stuf bredes nu pepl.
ReplyDeleteHandmade gloves are the last refuge of the 'quirk' which lurks unseen between each digit. If gloves are endangered due to txt then quirks will become extinct with them. We must unite to protect the quirk.
ReplyDeleteBut which kind of "quirk"? top, bottom or strange?
DeleteQuirks are masters of disguise. Door frames have them, whips have them even the better class of blog attracts them. Alas so many genuine quirks have been lost; now even gloves are made without them. You can tell the quality of a glove by its quirks.I've heard it said that anything going round a bend could be quirky but as I'm in the attic of a very tall house and the Dictionary of Etymology is far below I'm not verifying that.
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