Supermoon - Your Questions Answered (Again)

Q: The Express tells us there's a Supermoon today. Could it mean the end of the world?

A: Oh yes,  not a doubt about it.

Q: What? Aren't you supposed to say it's all fine?

A: Haven't you read the article? It's terrifying. The third Supermoon this year. Gotta mean something.

Q: But isn't it just a statistical thing? You've gotta have the moon nearest some times?

A: Oh yeah.  But have you read those ancient olde prophecies? And then what with the Perseid meteor showers.....

Q: But aren't the astronomers all really excited, because the moon is so much closer and easier to observe?

A: Astronomers down the years have found that telescopes have the ability to make the moon look bigger whenever they want. Full moon is always a bad time to observe the moon because it's too bright.  And what with apocalyptic super-storm Bertha..... We're all doomed. Who's gonna worry about studying craters?

Q: So not good observational conditions?

A: All irrelevant. The star-gazers are all in their secret temple beneath the Royal Astronomical Society, sacrificing an emu and praying to the Moon Gibbon  to have mercy.

Q: You've worried me now.

A: Well,  stop reading the Express, you prat. There's real people in this world with terrifying problems. Stop encouraging low-grade tabloids to make up cosy apocalypses for you.