In the UKIP Midwinter

To some literalists, it's the most ridiculous Christmas carol. They object to the first line, and ignore the rest. "In the Bleak Midwinter? I bet it wasn't even snowing."

To me, it's the finest, most theologically beautiful of all Christian hymns - regardless of the time of year. The mystery of the Incarnation, swept up in the beauty of homeliness and wintry weather.

But to Nigel Farage, it's a nightmare. Christina Rossetti was clearly a "hidden immigrant" - look at her name, after all. And there's another problem with it.

From http://artgallery.yale.edu/collections/objects/virgin-and-child-enthroned-saints-leonard-and-peter-and-scenes-life-saint-peter

Yeah. Imagine the embarrassment of the shepherds.

So to help keep the UKIP Christmas Carol Service embarrassment-free, we've rewritten that most poignant of verses and made it UKIP-friendly. 

How Rossetti wrote it	How Nigel wants it
Enough for Him, whom cherubim worship night and day, A breastful of milk, and a mangerful of hay; Enough for Him, whom angels fall before, The ox and ass and camel which adore.	Enough for Him, whom cherubim, worship night and day, His mother in the corner, and a mangerful of hay; Enough for Him, who will judge the quick and the dead To receive his breakfast with a blanket on his head.