The Rewilding of Husborne Crawley

We've been really impressed with the whole concept of "rewilding". I should point out that I was at college with George Monbiot, whose suggestions that we introduce real deer to the Deer Park and only use natural control methods with the moles on New Quad (i.e. hit them with a spade) were voted down nem con by the JCR. But the whole idea of having a more genuinely natural - wilder - unspoilt landscape - yeah, we love it. In fact we've introduced it back into these gently Bedfordshire fields and meadows around where we live.

Which makes it even more annoying, in these times that we are trying to go for organic living and free-range flood control, that I've had a call from the clerk of the Parish Council. I mean, at this time of night?

Apparently we've been "irresponsible" in our choice of species for rewilding. Well, that's hardly my fault is it? Everybody knows that, before they were driven to extinction locally, Husborne Crawley had a thriving colony of werewolves. And I can hardly be expected to stop them wandering into people's gardens - that's what the concept of "wild" is all about.

So I've put the phone off the hook to stop me calling back. If he finds out about the saber-toothed tigers we've released in the woods off Crow Lane, I'll never hear the last of it.