| Oracle of Delphi | Theresa May |
| Minister for Whales | Moby Dick |
| Lord High Executioner | Andrea Leadsom |
| Lord of the Dance | Boris Johnson |
| Eye of Sauron | Nigel Farage |
| Smug Lord | George Osborne |
| Chief Prefect and 3rd Oik | Michael Gove |
| Minister of Magic | Jeremy Hunt |
| Unseen Hand | Orange-man |
| Orange Man | Donald Trump |
| Lord Chancellor | Ming the Merciless |
| Foreign Secretary | Grima Wormtongue |
| Minister for Re-education | Justine Greening |
| Ministry of Delusion | Emily Thornberry |
| Minister of Foxes | Liam Fox |
| Minister of Trusses | Liz Truss |
| Minister for Climate Change | Noah |
| Keeper of the Queen's Guinea Pigs | David Gauke |
Sunday, 11 June 2017
Cabinet Reshuffle
Those New Appointments in Full
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