I've been thinking. This Covid lockdown thing cost our economy a lot of money and a lot of people and organisations have had to find new ways to raise cash.
Not us, of course. I've got just the kind of well-healed, educated congregation that could just work from home and save on commuter fares. Which was why it was so easy for me to justify jacking up the wifi subscriptions. But new ways to raise cash is always good.
Now I've noticed that a lot of churches try to make some money from visitors by selling postcards and souvenirs. And I reckon we can get some of that action. Not in the Moot House, of course. That looks like a cross between the Tellytubbies' home and the worst aspects of 1970s Milton Keynes. I mean St Bogwulf's Chapel, in the grounds.
St Bogwulf's Chapel was built in the 12th century on the very site of the martyrdom of the holy saint. He was beheaded by the Norse as they came to plunder Aspley Guise. Being an Anglian saint, of course, he didn't let a little thing like decapitation stop him. Instead his head, moved to Ludgate Hill, continued to prophesy the future of England: including the invention of the Internet, the winner of the 1927 Derby (from which my grandfather made his money) and George Carey's disappointing reign as Archbishop of Canterbury.
At least, that's what the guidebook says. In fact, the chapel was built as a "tin tabernacle" for the Extremely Primitive Methodists by my grandad. With the money he won on the Derby. We later stone clad it in greensand stone, to confuse people.
So prices for the souvenirs of Bogwulf Chapel will be as follows:
Slightly battered guidebooks: £2.45
Damp leaflets: 40p
Postcards (with edges folding up): 30p
Fridge magnets of St Alban: £4.50
Fridge magnets of St Bogwulf: £5
A History of Husborne Crawley by a local who made most of it up: 25pup
Hymnbooks: Please stop taking them
Second Hand Dave Walker calendar which will work again in 2087 (and the jokes.probably still will): 50p
Second Hand Michael Green books from the 1980s: Just have them