Lament Over the State of the Christmas Quality Street Tin

Behold the tin of Quality Street

Its poverty of flavours.

How are the mighty fallen

and the purple ones passed from our sight.

I remember our joy when we opened it

Our eyes full of tinsel and fire 

And our bellies with turkey 

and pigs-in-blankets.

And now behold!

There is a famine of green triangles

Of caramel swirls there is no sign

The milk choc block is as one that has gone down to the pit.

And we have nothing worth eating but fudge.

With tears will we eat orange crunches 

and with sadness consume strawberry delights 

But you can forget the coconut ones.

We suppose toffees are OK

In a "sort of thing our grandads used to eat" kind of way

But the coconut ones will we always have with us

Even unto next Christmas.

In our darkness there is just one ray of light

One shiny wrapper that gladdens our hearts.

At least we've somehow missed eating all the fudge

And so we will sing our grateful song.

All you need is fudge

All you need is fudge

All you need is fudge, fudge

Fudge is all you need.