Mabeline enjoyed this morning's commemoration of the life of Winston Churchill - particularly as we replaced the Snog of Friendship with a free-form Fighting on the Beaches. alt.worship can be so creative.
But then she pointed out that Winnie's death, at the age of 90, would appear to support her assertion that "Nice things happen to Nice People". Especially since Caligula shares the deathly anniversary, and that notorious tyrant was a relatively young man when he was assassinated.
But Mabeline's in enough trouble as it is. The hospital people were really positive when she and the NTHNP group offered to carry out visiting - especially as she promised them that they wouldn't be going around offering to pray for people like some more pushy religious groups try to.
But of course what she hadn't mentioned was that they were planning on going from ward to ward, going up to people and asking them what they'd done to deserve such punishment. The line "You're not very well? I'm not surprised - you sinner!" never helps. I tell you, if you're in a hospital ward the last thing you want is some dreamy drip turning up, and telling you that you caused all your own problems. Apart from anything else, they could be accused of impersonating a doctor.
Showing posts with label Nice Things Happen to Nice People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nice Things Happen to Nice People. Show all posts
Sunday, 24 January 2010
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Nice things happen to nice people
As if we didn't have enough sects, splinter-groups and factions already.
Mabeline (we should have thought harder before we let her choose that name) expresses herself as being totally loyalty to me as Archdruid. However she has felt it necessary to form a new group to bring pressure to bear on one particular item of doctrine.
It has always been a tenet of Beakerism that the brown stuff just happens occasionally. We can rationalise it, try to find deep meanings in the omnipotence of the Creator. We can try to read the books of our lives, we can see the signs of the times. But in a rational world that, on the whole, keeps to the laws of Physics and Thermodynamics, stuff is going to go wrong and that's how it is. We all get sick, we all get old, we occasionally get sacked, and we all die. And whatever our hopes for the next life, or the next incarnation, or the Resurrection, or the next manifestion of an avatar of Cedric the Green Frog (last seen in a ditch in the Top Field in August 2008) - the fact is that life here and now is often hard, occasionally frightening and invariably terminal. Prayer may help, but defining how, when and where it does is not easy.
Not for Mabeline.
This may well befit a woman who chose a name that seems to be a contraction of "Madeline Bassett." No relation to Burton Dasset, of course. But she can have a soul's-awakening look about her, if you know what I mean.
But apart from the views on the stars being God's Daisy Chain, I feel Mabeline has a somewhat more sinister viewpoint. The defining doctrine of "NTHNP" is that Nice things Happen to Nice People. In order to receive rewards in this world, one has to achieve "niceness". This seems to consist of fear of giving offence, in the main part, as well as thinking nice thoughts and smiling a lot. There is of course a corollary, with the same acronym - "Nasty things Happen to Nasty People".
Mabeline's views appear to be self-affirming. If something bad happens to you, you have to examine your past life and identify the Nastiness that needs resolving. Once identified, you can resolve it - by feeling a bit sorry for yourself, or by explaining to yourself that it wasn't that nasty after all - and then you will be nice again. Obviously, if you have something else nasty happen to you, then you hadn't resolved the Nastiness well enough, or there's more buried Nastiness you've not remembered, and you'll have to feel sorry for yourself all over again.
Mabeline's new doctrine apparently exempts her and her followers from any kind of social action or interest in charity. If something bad happens to someone on a large scale, they clearly all deserved it and therefore are entitled to no help (which would frustrate the Divine Will). On the other hand, if someone's having a great time then not only are they declared "Nice", but they're not in need of anything.
The worse happens when someone Mabeline knows is in real trouble and actually needs her help. In the first instance she'll refuse to help - saying they need to resolve their Nastiness and become Nice first. Then, if (as seems reasonable) they get shirty with her, she goes round to pour burning coals on their heads. I don't think she's been blessed with a great scriptural exposition here, and Mabeline's family are increasingly recognisable in Hitchin as being the people who are bruised and singed.
In an attempt to persuade Mabeline out of her views, I put together the following table of world events that prove her right or wrong - on a scale of 1 to 10.
Stalin and Chairman Mao died of old age - 1/10.
Pol Pot died under arrest (possibly murdered) - 6/10 (after all, he was 70).
Hitler dies in a bunker - 7/10.
George W Bush wins two terms as US President - 4/10.
Tiger Woods hit with a golf club by his wife - 8/10 (but she should have used a wood)
Rene and Renata only have one hit - 9/10.
Simon Cowell is very rich - 2/10.
Big Brother is to be cancelled - 5/10 (after all, it's taken 10 years).
So far, presented with this evidence that her theory is rubbish, Mabeline has commented that Simon Cowell has nice white teeth and George W does a cracking impression of Nelson Mandela. I'll continue to work on her, however. And meanwhile continue to mention to her the immense spiritual rewards of tithing. I hear it's a very Nice thing to do.
Mabeline (we should have thought harder before we let her choose that name) expresses herself as being totally loyalty to me as Archdruid. However she has felt it necessary to form a new group to bring pressure to bear on one particular item of doctrine.
It has always been a tenet of Beakerism that the brown stuff just happens occasionally. We can rationalise it, try to find deep meanings in the omnipotence of the Creator. We can try to read the books of our lives, we can see the signs of the times. But in a rational world that, on the whole, keeps to the laws of Physics and Thermodynamics, stuff is going to go wrong and that's how it is. We all get sick, we all get old, we occasionally get sacked, and we all die. And whatever our hopes for the next life, or the next incarnation, or the Resurrection, or the next manifestion of an avatar of Cedric the Green Frog (last seen in a ditch in the Top Field in August 2008) - the fact is that life here and now is often hard, occasionally frightening and invariably terminal. Prayer may help, but defining how, when and where it does is not easy.
Not for Mabeline.
This may well befit a woman who chose a name that seems to be a contraction of "Madeline Bassett." No relation to Burton Dasset, of course. But she can have a soul's-awakening look about her, if you know what I mean.
But apart from the views on the stars being God's Daisy Chain, I feel Mabeline has a somewhat more sinister viewpoint. The defining doctrine of "NTHNP" is that Nice things Happen to Nice People. In order to receive rewards in this world, one has to achieve "niceness". This seems to consist of fear of giving offence, in the main part, as well as thinking nice thoughts and smiling a lot. There is of course a corollary, with the same acronym - "Nasty things Happen to Nasty People".
Mabeline's views appear to be self-affirming. If something bad happens to you, you have to examine your past life and identify the Nastiness that needs resolving. Once identified, you can resolve it - by feeling a bit sorry for yourself, or by explaining to yourself that it wasn't that nasty after all - and then you will be nice again. Obviously, if you have something else nasty happen to you, then you hadn't resolved the Nastiness well enough, or there's more buried Nastiness you've not remembered, and you'll have to feel sorry for yourself all over again.
Mabeline's new doctrine apparently exempts her and her followers from any kind of social action or interest in charity. If something bad happens to someone on a large scale, they clearly all deserved it and therefore are entitled to no help (which would frustrate the Divine Will). On the other hand, if someone's having a great time then not only are they declared "Nice", but they're not in need of anything.
The worse happens when someone Mabeline knows is in real trouble and actually needs her help. In the first instance she'll refuse to help - saying they need to resolve their Nastiness and become Nice first. Then, if (as seems reasonable) they get shirty with her, she goes round to pour burning coals on their heads. I don't think she's been blessed with a great scriptural exposition here, and Mabeline's family are increasingly recognisable in Hitchin as being the people who are bruised and singed.
In an attempt to persuade Mabeline out of her views, I put together the following table of world events that prove her right or wrong - on a scale of 1 to 10.
Stalin and Chairman Mao died of old age - 1/10.
Pol Pot died under arrest (possibly murdered) - 6/10 (after all, he was 70).
Hitler dies in a bunker - 7/10.
George W Bush wins two terms as US President - 4/10.
Tiger Woods hit with a golf club by his wife - 8/10 (but she should have used a wood)
Rene and Renata only have one hit - 9/10.
Simon Cowell is very rich - 2/10.
Big Brother is to be cancelled - 5/10 (after all, it's taken 10 years).
So far, presented with this evidence that her theory is rubbish, Mabeline has commented that Simon Cowell has nice white teeth and George W does a cracking impression of Nelson Mandela. I'll continue to work on her, however. And meanwhile continue to mention to her the immense spiritual rewards of tithing. I hear it's a very Nice thing to do.
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