Getting to Know Your Right Brain

Yes, I know what we did wrong now.

I've always believed that the Left Brain is all calm, cerebral balance and logic while the Right Brain is spiritual, creative, emotional. So if that is the case, we thought that the "Getting to Know Your Right Brain" session following on from the Hemispheres session this morning would be a great idea. I thought we'd all end up Cygnus-like beings of great balance, creativity and godly poise.

Now I don't want to reveal the precise techniques we used to suppress the left sides of people's brains down a bit. Let's just say it involves sensory deprivation, magnetic fields and patchoulli. But we made a discovery that it would have been easier to make by doing a bit of reading first.

These are the things the left side of the brain is good at:
- Controlling the right side of your body
- Logic
- Language
- Literacy
- Optimism

While this is the list for the right side:
- Controlling the left side of your body
- Spatial awareness
- Incoherent rage
- Running amok
- Despairing.

Turns out, a right brain's not something you'd go out for a drink with, or take home to meet your mother. Within a matter. of minutes, we had a load of people charging around the place, trashing furniture and screaming. And doing it all left-handed. While hopping. And then alternately sitting down and telling us it's all desperately, desperately sad. And then trashing things again.

So I really don't want to get to know my right brain. My right brain's even scarier than the left. But amazingly, it's all really cathartic. Everybody's wandering around in a really good mood, now they've got the rage out. It's like the sunshine after a thunderstorm.

We do these experiments so you don't have to. And because we're really stupid. Don't try this at home, even if you've already bought the special equipment and everything.