Re-envisioning the Midsomer Benefice

Reverend Barnaby Barnaby is a lucky man. He has a benefice he likes, with a nice rectory. And his brother is the local murder squad Detective Inspector - so he knows if he ever wants to have a family reunion, he just has to go down to one of his churches and shuffle the hymnbooks, and his brother will arrive.

Of course, this means someone has been murdered in bizarre circumstances at the local doily festival. But you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.

Barnaby has three parish churches in the lovely county of Midsomer, and he works hard to ensure the life of all of them. 

And getting round three on a Sunday morning, while doable, takes a bit of planning. But he does it. Promising himself a couple of pints at the "Drowned Kindle" when he's reached Sunday lunchtime.

And, of course, people from the villages go to the churches. They're ageing a bit, and occasionally thin on numbers on cold mornings. But nevertheless, they go.

But people don't only go to church in their own parish. There are people who prefer the 8am BCP at Midsomer Elvis, as that leaves them the rest of the day free. And some of them like the beauty of the language. Some like the 9.15 at Badger's Bottom, as they have real coffee after the service. And parents tend to go to the 11 am at Midsomer Slaughter, which is more all-age-friendly.

So Revd Barnaby has been keeping everything ticking over, offering a bit of everything for everybody. And the benefice pays its Parish Share. So everything is good.

Sometimes, as he heads from Badger's Bottom to Midsomer Slaughter, Barnaby realises so are quite a few of his congregation. And it may be a bit odd to have people driving in all directions, but it seems to work.

But then Barnaby retires. And the "presentation is suspended", oh dreadful phrase.

And the bishop has great ideas of rationalising the diocese. 

And has appointed a Deanery Operations Lead for 50 grand per annum. Whose job is to re-envision the Midsomer Deanery. 

And now Barnaby's little flock has become part of the Greater Cawston Deanery Benefice. With a Team Rector, a Team Vicar, and Barnaby himself as a retired priest with permission to officiate. And the ministry rota, the mission planning, and the allocation of priests to Occasional Offices have now been rationalised.  And the Rectory has been sold, so that's going to pay for the Deanery Operations Lead for five years.

And obviously, with the new structure, there's no way the new team can support all those churches. So Badger's Bottom keeps its weekly service. Midsomer Elvis is a "Festival Church". So the parish still has to find the money to maintain it, but there are far fewer services. And Midsomer Slaughter got lucky and has received permission to be converted into a Museum of Local Murders. 

As he drives thirty miles across the county to take an 8am for his service fee, Revd Barnaby thinks he should have stuck around a few more years. 

Surely there'd have been another exciting strategy along eventually.