The Greeting
Archdruid: Peace be with you.
All: And with tha spirit.
All: On Ilkla Moor baht 'at.
Archdruid: Today we celebrate all the things that make the Yorkshire character great.
All: Misery, resentment, and rhubarb?
Archdruid: I was actually thinking of doggedness, determination...
All: And rhubarb?
Archdruid: Oh ay, rhubarb. And we remember those great moments in Yorkshire history... Those great Yorkshire folk like Richard III...
All: Born in Northamptonshire.
Archdruid: Peter Sallis?
All: Born in London.
Archdruid: And Sean Bean.
All: Oh yeah. Sean Bean. His nephew's got a chip shop in Sheffield.
Archdruid: Gradely. I did offer him a part in our "Passion Play", but he guessed he'd be playing Judas.
All: Can we push the Oldest Man downhill in a bathtub now?
Oldest Man: No!
Archdruid: Oh, ay.
The Oldest Man is pushed downhill in a bathtub. Terrifying assorted badgers, Hern the Hunter, and an adulterous couple out for an "innocent bike ride". Old women in pinnies and headscarves make a guard of honour, sticks of rhubarb aloft.
The Dismissal
All: Ear all, see all, say nowt; Eat all, sup all, pay nowt; And if ivver tha does owt fer nowt – Allus do it fer thissen.
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