Please Update Your Status (continued)

Gullible  10 minutes ago
Please update your status if you're gullible.  87% of people won't update their status when they're gullible, even if they're gullible.

Fantasy Land  15 minutes ago
It's a little known fact that 6 deadly diseases can be wiped out if you change your status to this.  97% of people won't update their status - and it's their fault that people continue to die from those same 6 deadly diseases.  Please will you update your status?  Or will you have have the blood of millions of people on your hands?

Birdwitt 18 minutes ago
Arthritis isn't a disease.  It's a flavour of salad dressing.  Will you please update your status to let people know that they've not got a crippling, debilitating disease but instead have a new way of spicing up their summer lunches?  98% of people aren't fooled by this.  But maybe you will be?

U2 Fan 23 minutes ago
You can change the world by updating your Facebook status.  Actually, you can't.  But you can feel like you are, from the comfort of your own living room.  Are you prepared to make absolutely no difference at all by updating your status?  94% of people don't.  But that's because they don't care.

Arfur 47 minutes ago
PLEASE UPDATE YOUR STATUS IF YOU'RE AGAINST GLOBAL WARMING.  JUST BY UPDATING YOUR STATUS YOU'RE THINKING GLOBALLY BUT ACTING LOCALLY.  99% OF PEOPLE WON'T UPDATE THEIR STATUS.  AND THEY'RE THE ONES WHO WANT THE POLAR BEARS TO FRY.

Sheep 1 hr 4 minutes ago
Will you update your status as a stand against Emotional Blackmail?  Emotional Blackmail blights the lives of millions, as they waste their time updating their Facebook status with meaningless memes.  95% of people won't update their Facebook status with this - even though if they don't, an angel will cry.

Festival of Facebook Being Five

Archdruid: It's good to see that two or three are gathered here, having dragged themselves away from their laptops.

All: Can you get a move on? We've got Superpets to clean, battle and exercise.

Archdruid: But they're really pants.

All: True. But they're cute as well.

Archdruid: Where two or three are gathered together....

All: They'll form a group in support of some obscure cause.

Archdruid: Don't you ever want to get out, see the sunshine?

All: You must be joking. We've got Scramble to play.

Exchange of the Poke

Archdruid: May the Poke be with you.

All: And also with you.

All may kiss, slap, cuddle, wave at, wink at or throw snowballs at

each other.

Archdruid: Now get out there and try to find some real, physical human 

beings for friends.

All: Just because you've only got six.

The Archdruid is.... fed up with trying to get a bunch of numpties to act 

vaguely spiritual.  

But also has the biggest brain.