Saturday, 26 January 2013

Inspirational Thoughts for Today

We should live in "today". Yesterday is dead and gone. And tomorrow's out of sight.

 If you can do a good deed for someone who doesn't like you, they'll be really grumpy and confused. But your reward will be in heaven. So you win twice.

 The one who prays for an hour will be closer to God, happier and an hour older. Whereas chocolate is much quicker.

 There is no "I" in "proofreadng".

 If the mountain looks too high for you, do not despair. Use a Landrover.

 Today is the first day of the rest of your troubles!

A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet. Unless it were called "Stinkblossom". That's bound to affect your judgement.

Just when you think the night is darkest, is when you realise it's because of a power cut and your freezer's defrosting.

Consider the lilies of the field. All wiped out with glyphosate so you could have cheap  vegetable oil. So much for parables and genetic diversity.

At the centre of every life is a God-shaped hole. Some find filling it with donuts works for a while.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And disease, of course. Breakdown of civilisation- that's got to be scary. And climate change. And freak accidents involving tumble-dryers falling out of air-planes. And fear itself.

Never say to yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" It's more dreadful than you think.

If you dislike someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. Unless you're a 17 stone  welder and they're into really tiny stilettos. Unless you like wearing really tiny stilettos.

Do not be hasty to judgement. If you stick around and look into it, you'll probably find something even juicier.

People who live in glass houses should buy some curtains before taking a shower.

If the day is sunny, be glad of the sun. When rain falls, remember it makes the flowers grow. If the roof caves in under the weight of snow, pray you remembered to renew the insurance.

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