Tuesday 30 April 2024

Moot Update: Re-definition of the Planet Skaro

 We've always been a welcoming community. But we're struggling with the increasing numbers of Thals that have taken refuge. They're nice enough. But having them wandering around all day, telling us how violence is bad, can be a bit aggravating when you want to get out and at the more recalcitrant Beaker Folk with a cricket bat.

We had to take action. So the Moot this evening has declared that from now on, Skaro is a safe planet.
And if the Moot says it's safe, it's safe. Mr Davros assures me it's very welcoming.

Monday 22 April 2024

The Slaying of St George

In common with other great moral and educational institutions, and Magdalen College Oxford, we shall not be celebrating St George’s Day here at the Beaker Folk.

We consider St George to be “stale, pale, male”, the archetypal Englishman who would rather stab a maiden-eating dragon to death with a spear than get it round the table to see whether it can find a compromise – eg only eating old people or something.

As part of our cosmopolitan, forward-looking, eclectic religious oecumenicalism we shall tomorrow instead be celebrating the traditional Catalan feast, La Diada da Sant Jordi. This will feature vegetarian bullfighting,  a procession of roses, and a free bottle of San Miguel with a slice of lime in the neck for every Beaker Person.

I know some people will be fuming about this. The St George’s Day dinner is a tradition that goes all the way back to 2018. But you have to move with the times. And the times say goodbye St George. And Hola, Sant Jordi!