Sunday 22 September 2024

For Those in Peril, C of E

As Church of England congregations across the country woke up to the thunderstorms in the middle of the night, and Church Wardens thought "Oh no" as they remembered the crumbling mortar joints, broken Collyweston, and re-roofing projects that have been crawling through the diocesan approval process all summer, at little advice for worship in times of heavy rainfall.

Try to stick to worshipping in the shallow end.

Wednesday 18 September 2024

The All-Season Snack

 I feel like we've really done it this time. 

I'd been hearing complaints that mince pies are in the supermarkets - even though their "sell by" dates are before Xmas. Which would of course contravene some law in Deuteronomy somewhere. Same every year. In fact, every season.

In the teeth of people moaning that creme eggs, mince pies, and hot cross buns all come out in the stores at the wrong time of year, we were struggling to find a product that could smooth out supply chain fluctuations, while also garnering positive media feedback.

And here we are.

The Mince Cross Egg.

A deep-filled mince pie. Spicy and luxurious like a real mince pie should be. Topped with a spice bun top, marked with a white cross.

And in the middle, a lucious chocolate layer with a creme caramel centre.

The Mince Cross Egg.

Feast or fast, it's the snack that will last. All the way through to the next liturgical year. And without complaints on social media.


Available from the Beaker Bazaar.

Tuesday 10 September 2024

Meeting of the Moot Building Committee: Voting Results

 Thanks to everyone who attended this evening's Moot Building Committee meeting. The refurbishment of the Moot House (8 years after it was last rebuilt) is going to be an exciting project, and we want to ensure we get it right for the future.

The results of the voting are as follows:

1. Height of new lighting system bulbs for the Moot House

a) 9' (3m) from the ground, convenient for changing bulbs - 1 vote

b) 15' (5m) from the ground, reachable by a long ladder with extreme care - 2 votes

c) 45' (14m) from the ground, only accessible by scaffolding and/or a new generation of drone that has not yet been invented - 27 votes


2. Location of electrical wiring

a) In trunking at the bottom of the wall, easily accessible if slightly clunky - 1 vote

b) Under a raised "office style" floor, easily accessible and flexible - 0 votes

c) Sunk 6' (2m) deep in the concrete floor   - 30 votes


3. Treatment of the Greensand stone floor of the Moot House, so as best to reflect its unique geological and aesthetic properties

a) A light buffing to bring up its natural colours - 2 votes

b) Overlay with a sheet of transparent acrylic, to protect its surface while still displaying its natural beauty - 4 votes

c) Araldite a 2nd hand synthetic fibre carpet over it - 27 votes


4. New heating system

a) Ground-source heat pump - 0 votes

b) Air-source heat pump - 0 votes

c) Radiant overhead electric heaters that turn bald men's heads red - 12 votes

d) Wood-burning stove fuelled by cast off pews from church reorderings - 26 votes


5. Seating

a) Old fashioned wooden box pews - 6 votes

b) Bean bags -  4 votes

c) Comfy electrically reclining chairs, which take up three times as much space as alternative seating arrangements - 8 votes

d) Plastic chairs that get moved around all the time and make your back sweat - 15 votes


In the light of these decisions, I have concluded that democracy is a mistake and you're all getting what you're given. If anyone wishes to discuss, my new cricket bat arrived from johnlewis.com this morning and it's in serious need of being "knocked in". 

Wednesday 4 September 2024

In Livid Memory

Bit odd today at Mirkoslove's funeral.

I thought it was a typo, when the service sheet referred to the "Condemnation" rather than "Commendation".

But then his widow stood up to deliver it.

And maybe the printers got it right.

Sunday 1 September 2024

A Milestone is Reached

An amazing achievement by Melswold, who yesterday made her 100th appearance at a Beaker Tabletop Sale.

Her commitment to fundraising for St Melophilus's Refuge for Damaged Sparrows is unparalleled. While her range of cards featuring sparrows in quirky locations is truly unique.

So congratulations, Melswold. And we look forward to even greater celebrations when you finally sell a card.