Thursday, 31 January 2013

Lord of the Dance - the Test Case

I should first of all say that I will be defending the case in court, should it come to it. I know Sukebine says she's definitely going to sue, but I reckon she's just taking a bit of a punt with that solicitor's letter.

In the first case, I was completely unaware that "Lord of the Dance" was played within the Community. It's been two years since we declared ourselves a Sydney Carter-Free Zone.

I realise that it is incumbent on us, in keeping Sydney Carter-Free certification, that we have strict policies in place to ensure no Sydney Carter works are played under the authority of the Moot. We do have an exception for "Every Star Will Sing a Carol", but that is only ever used under controlled conditions for experimental purposes.

To that end, the leader of each Beaker Occasion is under the obligation to keep a record of each song used. Burton enters these records into the worship database, and I can confirm that there are no entries on the summarised list between "Carpenters" and "Cash, Johnny".

What I suspect has happened is that Sukebine has taken part in an underground "Folk Worship" session. I had my suspicions last week when I thought I heard Mrs Hnaef humming "One More Step Along the World I Go." I don't want to pre-judge anything here, but I have taken the precaution of issuing a swift Banning Order on chunky-knit sweaters, any religious music written between 1950 and 1985, and tambourines.

If she has been attending underground Folk Worship sessions, Sukebine has been at unregulated and - frankly - dangerous events, and the Beaker Folk will accept no liability for her psychological damage, or indeed the physical damage she sustained in banging her head against the wall "until the evil stopped".

Furthermore, if she was indeed at one of these events, she has broken the terms of her Beaker membership promise ("Rule Number 1 - No Sydney Carter") and I will be counter-suing for the time we have spent over the last week counselling her after her bad experience. Not to mention the value of the strong, sweet tea she has consumed.

1 comment :

  1. So not only did I fail the recent "closet Celtic" test, I now realise I've broken the Beaker promise - I have the whole of Lovely In The Dances on my iPad playlist and posted a clip of Bells of Norwich on my blog last week. I'll definitely have my tea-light extinguished now. It will no doubt have "vanished like the snow", even though "the same light can shine in a candle or the Sun."
    OK, perhaps I'd better stop now! :-(


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