Saturday, 18 January 2014

Flooding Caused by Gay Marriage

At last, somebody has said what we were all thinking. A member of UKIP has associated the recent flooding with the passing of the Gay Marriage bill. The Prime Minister, of course, blames Global Warming. But he is merely trying to distract attention from his own, direct, sinful responsibility.

A notoriously gay road


 This is entirely in agreement with what my study of the divinely-commanded disasters of the whole of history has indicated. My new book, "When God Gets Angry and Kicks Things Around", will be published just as soon as I can find a publisher suitably godly not to keep laughing when I give him the synopsis. But to give you a taster - here are just some of the disasters I detail.

DisasterCause
2013 - FloodingGay Marriage
2005 - Hurricane Katrina"Family Guy"
1994 - Norwich Library catches fire    Church of England ordains female priests
1987 - London Hurricane / Black Monday     The Pet Shop Boys
1980 - Election of Ronald ReaganThe rise of Disco
1970s - Americans lose in VietnamWomen wearing slacks
1939 - World War IIWomen wearing nylons
1929 - Stock Market Crash / The Great DepressionWomen Getting the Vote
1914 - World War IThe Tango 
1780 - Gordon RiotsGin
1666 - Great Fire of LondonPeople blaming God for the Plague
1665 - London PlagueCharles II's Mistress, Barbara Villiers
1558 - Loss of CalaisCodpieces
1453 - Fall of ConstantinopleIcons
c15th Century - Death of Greenland's Vikings Too much mead and sagas
1066 - Battle of HastingsKing Harold's Mistress
476 - Fall of the Roman EmpireRoman Catholicism
79 - Destruction of PompeiiNail-biting
146 BC - Fall of Hellenistic GreeceHomosexuality
4004 BC - Throwing out of EdenEating apples and wearing fig leaves

There is no doubt about it, brothers and sisters. Until we return to a time of godliness and good behaviour, such as under the lawful, godly and - above all - disaster-free Oliver Cromwell or Edward the Confessor, we will never know peace in our land.

6 comments :

  1. rachelwhite1946@gmail.com18/01/2014, 20:13

    Then there was the fire at York minster caused by the appointment of a certain notorious Bishop of Durham to ABY.......

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  2. Perhaps someone can explain the bit in the article about gay marriage causing floods where it was called 'a naked breach of the coronation oath.' Have I been missing something all these years?

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  3. I haven't read the article by the UKIP bloke, because on principle I believe that all politicians are liars, thieves, swindlers and carpet baggers. So, I've no comprehension of what he's talking about.

    However, some of the headlines he has made seem to show that being a politician, talking a load of garbage is taken more seriously than a politician talking about taking us to war?

    What's that all about?

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  4. Thank you! I hope you don't mind, but I recommend your site on my blog. See http://ramblingrector.me/2014/01/19/the-beaker-folk-of-husborne-crawley/

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think this says it all:

    https://m.soundcloud.com/nicholas-pegg/ukip-shipping-forecast

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  6. Flood barriers needed in Clontarf, recent high tides nearly breeched existing defences. Gay marriage may be legalised here, Ireland, in this government's term. They better get the barrier up, fast.

    ReplyDelete

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