Wednesday, 6 April 2016

Minutes of Last Year's AGM

Please find below the minutes of last year's AGM. Burton says he's sorry it has taken 365 days to issue them, and he's just grateful it's a Leap Year so you all have time to read the minutes before this year's AGM.

1. The Archdruid started the meeting with a prayer for discernment, harmony and ears to discern vision. Though she didn't hold out much hope for vision.

A point of order from Scaldmir, that eyes are used for vision, not ears - and that we use our minds, not our sensory organs, for discernment - was withdrawn as Scaldmir discovered a mug embedded in his skull.

2. Minutes of last meeting (2014)

Nobody had the faintest recollection of the last meeting. Some people claimed they definitely weren't there - even though they had signed the attendance sheet and were in the official "Annual Moot Meeting 2014" photograph. And had given DNA samples. Eventually it was agreed we might as well sign the minutes off, as they may well be accurate. At least, they reflected a view of reality we could just about cope with.

3. Matters arising from last meeting

Hnaef moved that we didn't bother with this, as if any matters had arisen they would be irrelevant by now whether they'd happened or not. However, Eileen insisted we should go through the list, as follows:

a. Mission Committee to really definitely meet at some mutually convenient point in 2014: Didn't happen.

b. Archdruid to ensure more interesting sermons: Didn't happen.

c. Stewardship Secretary to explain why a 19% uplift in giving was needed: Didn't happen for his own safety.

4. Finance

The Treasurer told us we don't give enough, but spend too much. It was pointed out he'd said this every year since 2003. He said it was true this time.

5. Fabric Committee

Although denim is never out of fashion, a nice twill is making a comeback. If you're going to London, avoid tweed. And Islington, obviously.

6. Mission Committee

Had failed to meet in the last twelve months due to tricky diaries, being busy and general despondency. Promised to try harder this year, maybe by scheduling a meeting to answer the question "What do we mean by mission?"

7. All Age Worship

Driyl moved that All Age Worship might be more worshipful if the children were somewhere else, preferably sound proofed. Passed

8. Archdruid's Report

Eileen passed out copies of the report, which said "I hate you all, you needy gets."

Hnaef asked whether she had just issued last year's by mistake. Eileen said no, she had definitely changed the date on the document, like she did every year.

9. Any Other Business

Since AOB had to be notified in writing, in the Frisk language, a minimum of 375 days before the meeting, there was none.

10. The Archdruid concluded the meeting with an ancient Scythian curse of dismissal.

1 comment :

  1. How to conduct an APCM - would be much more fun :)


Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl