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Friday, 7 September 2018

The Latter-Day Freemanites

Made a mistake mentioning Glen Freeman, the #smilesontheline man, didn't I.

Next thing I know a bunch of Beaker Folk have set up the Latter-Day Freemanites, a society dedicated to spreading happiness by standing around grinning gormlessly at people. Even as I write I can see one, scaring the traffic in School Lane. They're planning to send missionaries to the darkest, most spiritually-empty places on earth. Flitwick, Dunstable, Nottingham. You know the kind of place.

As their worship centre, they've adopted a little lean-to shed next to the Quivering Brethren chapel. Which is going to be interesting on Sunday, as the Brethren walk quiveringly to church, being grinned at by the Grinning Brethren.

It's gonna be a long weekend.



Want to support this blog?
Want a good laugh? Want to laugh at the church? Want to be secretly suspicious that the author has been sitting in your church committee meetings taking notes? Then Writes of the Church: Gripes and grumbles of people in the pews is probably the book for you.

From Amazon, Sarum Bookshop, The Bible Readers Fellowship and other good Christian bookshops. An excellent book for your churchgoing friends, relatives or vicar. By the creator of the Beaker Folk.

3 comments :

  1. They ungodly Freemanities will be peeling they leery grins away from their shameful countenances soon enough. They be invading our woodshed and the horror that lurketh deep within the stacks will strike them to the core with everlasting moaning and seeping. The shed is not mocked.

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  2. I wonder if we're all secretly members of this ungodly organisation, as we often appear to be grinning inanely at people who we know, but cannot understand or hear fully due to background noise and their inability to project there voices - so we inanely grin, nod wisely as if we're taking in what they're saying, and wondering silently what they're on about? Off course the thing falls over when the suddenly ask your opinion clearly in a break in the background noise and you are reduced to prevarication and inane comment.

    Finding myself in this situation often, I always get out my patented 'I'm hearing challenged' and use my own invented form of sign language, which floors them, and normally makes them back off - however, when someone responded in proper sign language I was the one floored.

    Oh for a noise free environment and clear speech.

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