As to the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ and our being gathered together to him, we beg you, brothers and sisters, not to be quickly shaken in mind or alarmed, either by spirit or by word or by letter, as though from us, to the effect that the day of the Lord is already here.
…. Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and through grace gave us eternal comfort and good hope, comfort your hearts and strengthen them in every good work and word.(Thessalonians 2.1-2, 16-17)
The Thessalonians’ problem, it seems to me, is that they're getting over-anxious and over-excited.
They believe Jesus will return, and soon. And it's like first-century social media. Stories of wars and rumours of wars and of Jesus’ having already come back are sweeping those little Christian groups in the Roman world.
Of course, in their world, “sweeping” was a thing that only happened at roughly three miles an hour.
In our world, “sweeping” happens much quicker.
I was reading how it's my “generation” - the Generation X-ers born between 1965 and 1980 - we're the ones most tending to espouse nasty, racist, anti-gay views. Which to a degree surprises me - because we grew up with Two-Tone music, and Frankie Goes to Hollywood.
But also kind of doesn't. Remembering some of the skinheads who listened to Two-Tone music and entirely missed the point. We're young enough to have adopted Social Media. But too old to have developed critical thinking about it.
So every crime committed by anyone from an ethnic minority is magnified as if it's the only crime that ever happened. And fear is stirred. And the panic grows among the 45 to 60 year old demographic and they rush out to stick flags on lampposts like they're totems that will ward off evil. It's all very end times.
And Paul's message to the Thessalonians is similar to what we should adopt today.
Calm down.
You're blowing everything out of proportion.
Remember that Jesus will come - but in his time, not ours.
And do what you're called to do. Love each other. Care for those that are in need.
Stop panicking. There's work to do.
What ridiculousness, I ask myself, is the Facebook post I have found, claiming to debunk the Biblical Flood account?
Below I refute their ridiculous claims, one by one. I am afraid, dear brothers (and sisters, whose menfolk will I hope assist them over the hard theology and even godly science). I give the pitiful, science- and faith-light statements in blue, and my refutations in a godly, religious black.
Key scientific arguments against the historicity of Noah's Ark and a global flood include:
Geological Impossibilities
Lack of Sufficient Water: There is not enough water in the Earth's atmosphere, oceans, and ice caps combined to cover all landmasses, let alone the highest mountains, as described in the biblical account.
This is easy to refute. The whole thing was a miracle. G*d created a lot more water. Then removed it at the end, thus lowering the flood.
Absence of Global Flood Evidence: A global flood would leave specific, consistent geological evidence across the planet, such as a universal sedimentary layer and a massive genetic bottleneck event in human and animal populations; no such evidence has been found.
Have you never heard of the Oxford clay? It is certainly underlying geology everywhere I go. In any case, God tidied up afterwards. God hates mess. And how can you say there is no genetic bottleneck when Country and Western music exists?
Contradictory Geological Formations: Geological features like the Grand Canyon were formed by gradual processes over millions of years, not by a single, rapid, receding flood event. The existence of coal seams and other rock layers that require millions of years to form under specific conditions also contradicts a recent global flood event.
Not if God does it. The geological events were accelerated to God speed.
Fossil Record: The fossil record shows species appearing and disappearing over hundreds of millions of years in a specific order, a pattern that is inconsistent with a single, recent mass-burial event.
Everyone knows that God allowed the Devil to scatter these fossils across the world, with the specific aim of allowing atheists to follow the route to perdition that they deserve.
Biological Impossibilities
Biodiversity and Logistics: The number of species on Earth (over 1.7 million, excluding insects, microorganisms, and marine life) is far too vast for two of every "kind" to fit on a single wooden vessel, along with their necessary food and water for a year.
They were standing on each other's shoulders. And have you not read the Holy Book (Genesis 7:2), which clearly says there are seven pairs of every clean animal? If you cannot get the minor details of the word of G*d correct, how can we trust you to work out the volume of an anteater?
Animal Distribution: The global distribution of animals (e.g., kangaroos in Australia, polar bears in the Arctic) would be impossible to explain if all animals started from a single point of origin in the Middle East after the flood.
Noah dropped them off. He was conveniently supplied with a boat for that very purpose. And polar bears can swim.
Genetic Viability: A severe genetic bottleneck from having only two of every animal "kind" and eight humans would lead to catastrophic inbreeding effects and disease susceptibility, which is not observed in modern populations.
Once again with the author not knowing about the seven pairs of clean animals of every kind. Your grammar is wrong: that should be " catastrophic inbreeding effects and disease susceptibility, which are not observed in modern populations". And clearly God has provided a miracle to save us from inbreeding. Apart from in the Appalachians.
Ecosystem Survival: A global flood would have mixed fresh and saltwater, dooming all freshwater organisms and plants.
God separated them by an osmotic miracle.
Engineering and Physical Impossibilities
Ark Construction: A wooden boat of the dimensions specified in the Bible (approx. 450 ft long) would likely be structurally unsound and break apart in rough seas without modern engineering knowledge.
Did God not give Noah the design? Where does this "likely" come into it when you claim to be dabbling in science?
Waste Management: The sheer volume of waste produced by thousands of animals over a year would create an unlivable and toxic environment for all inhabitants.
Not at all. Just throw it over the side.
Archaeological Findings
Lack of Physical Evidence: Despite numerous searches, especially around Mount Ararat in Turkey, no scientific evidence of the Ark has ever been found. Alleged "discoveries" have been identified as natural geological formations or hoaxes.
This proves nothing. Lots of artefacts from the ancient world can no longer be found. Not even a miracle needed here.
Continuous Civilizations: Historical and archaeological records from ancient civilizations (e.g., Egypt, China) show continuous, uninterrupted human activity through the period when the flood would supposedly have occurred (~2,500 BCE), with no mention of a global flood event.
You can make up anything that is in books. Except the Bible, of course.
In conclusion, the scientific evidence
In conclusion. All nonsense.
Reform Councillor Alexander Jones, former mayoral candidate for Doncaster, has apologised after accidentally saying out loud on Facebook that people of Caribbean origin can't be English.
I mean, Englishness is such a nebulous thing. It embraces people who climb halfway up lampposts to tie St George's Flags to them. And people like the part-Turkish, American-born Boris Johnson. And the Royal Family, who derive their English heritage from erm William the Conqueror. A French-speaking descendant of Norwegians.
Given the terrible history of slavery, and the degree to which slave women had children whose fathers were their masters - the truth is there probably is a fair amount of English DNA (which I presume Alexander Jones was subconsciously thinking about) in the Caribbean population
Which brings me to a question.
Jones - isn't that a Welsh name?
Simon Jenkins has come up with more suggestions about uses for under-used churches. I'd warn you that it's behind a paywall. But to be honest it's probably better that way. Oddly he's in the Times this time. Who probably aren't aware he's written the same story, with minor tweaks, repeatedly in the past for the Guardian. This, for instance, from 2021.
Or the article that caused me to write this, in 2018.
I worry that, like an elderly relative who's telling you the same funny story about their youth for the 90th time, he just forgets he's told us his theories before.
Still. To save you the trouble of searching old Guardian columns finding all the new uses Simon Jenkins has suggested for the small village pub - here they are.
Welcome to the season of Not Enough Celebrationtide.
Have you been wearing your poppy since mid-September?
No?
You're no patriot. By 1st November you should be eating poppies for breakfast. Go out, buy a poppy onesie, and wear it everywhere you go. Otherwise you're not a patriot.
Come November 12 you should be wearing an Xmas tree at all times.
And if you foamed at the mouth because I said "Xmas", you are simultaneously a great advocate for a Christian Nation (TM) and an ahistorical idiot.
Come on, England! Repaint your pumpkin lights to look like poppy lights! And then, in a fortnight, repaint them as Xmas lights!
Start drinking Baileys from the 16th November! When you put the sprouts on!
Look down your noses at people from other faiths, atheists, those that can't afford an inflatable reindeer the size of Berkshire, and other such traitors.
Get out there and celebrate whatever it is this week!
For St George and England!
(By the way, Wisbech, those tattered Temu flags are starting to look a bit naff now)
