The Slaying of St George

In common with other great moral and educational institutions, and Magdalen College Oxford, we shall not be celebrating St George’s Day here at the Beaker Folk.

We consider St George to be “stale, pale, male”, the archetypal Englishman who would rather stab a maiden-eating dragon to death with a spear than get it round the table to see whether it can find a compromise – eg only eating old people or something.

As part of our cosmopolitan, forward-looking, eclectic religious oecumenicalism we shall tomorrow instead be celebrating the traditional Catalan feast, La Diada da Sant Jordi. This will feature vegetarian bullfighting,  a procession of roses, and a free bottle of San Miguel with a slice of lime in the neck for every Beaker Person.

I know some people will be fuming about this. The St George’s Day dinner is a tradition that goes all the way back to 2018. But you have to move with the times. And the times say goodbye St George. And Hola, Sant Jordi!

Gardens I - Eden - of the Eating of Apples

"In the Beginning" - (c) Sally Coleman. With permission

Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. The LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. (Genesis 2)

Now I don’t believe in a literal Garden of Eden – an actual historical place in time, where God made Eve out of Adam's spare rib and a talking four-legged snake roamed the trees looking to trap the unwary But I do believe in the Garden of Eden. Its truths are so much easier to grasp, I find, if you get yourself out of the realm of archaeology and dodgy science and enter the world of our dreams and ideals.

Thumb Tack-Tics

Sometimes you struggle to see the reason for things. The real deep questions. The ones that seem to reach to the ground level of our existence.

You can buy 400 drawing pins (thumb tacks to our American friendss) for 80p in Poundland. This does beg the question why Poundland are selling things for 80p. But let's move on. 80p for 400 drawing pins. That's 0.2p per drawing pin. 

So why, in the average church notice board, do they use roughly nine drawing pins, one of which has the point bent right over and one which has the head broken off, to hold up eight pieces of paper? How much work do they expect 0.2p of metal to do?

0.2p per drawing pin. Come on, Christian England. Both of you. You can do better.

The Revolution Won't be Temporary

As long as this world turns, the effects of no revolution, no liberation, last forever.

The Hebrews escaped from Egypt, went to the Promised Land, and were exiled in Assyria and Babylon.

The Jews returned from Babylon, then were conquered by the Greeks.

They threw off the Greeks as told in the books of Macabees. Then were taken over by Rome. And the final revolt against Rome ended in disaster.

The English in the Civil War threw off the power of the Throne. Then realised living under a bunch of incompetent Puritan ratbags was no fun.

In 1804 Haitians revolted against the French, became the first republic in the Caribbean, the second in the Americas. And after 220 sad years is now a failed state.

The appearance of a Liberator is always a sure sign that, somewhere down the line, it’ll all go wrong again. Yet Jerusalem, Sunday before Passover, 33 or so AD - this kind of looks like a conquering general or a liberating hero.

But here, riding a donkey instead of a warhorse, in a triumph with disciples and pilgrims and childrens instead of slaves and prisoners, comes a puzzling Liberator.

His struggle will be on a cross, not a battlefield. His victory will come not in strength but in weakness. The liberation he brings will not be a country that will fail, or a form of Government that will creak under pressure or be seized and manipulated by a rabble-rouser or a technocrat.

The liberation he brings grows in our hearts, as a seed grows into a tree. The freedom he brings is to love others, even if they’re different to us.

And the kingdom he founds will last forever. You can’t draw borders round it. You can’t get a passport. But you can see it and feel it. It grows every day. And one day beyond this world’s time, it will be all there is. And what seemed to be a failure on a cross will be the deed that freed us all.

Rite of Spring Equinox a Day Early

 All: All hail the spring! The spring is sprung!

Archdruid: What are you all doing out here?

All: Celebrating the Vernal Equinox.

Archdruid: Which is tomorrow.

All: The Daily Mail said it's today.

Archdruid: If the Daily Mail told you it was a good idea, would you vote for Brexit? Actually, forget I asked that. It's tomorrow. I presume that some 14 year old "reporter" or AI bot has scraped an American site, where the Equinox will happen later today. But it's still tomorrow our time.

Marston Moretaine: My brain hurts now.

Archdruid: It frequently does, doesn't it?

Burton Dasset: Diana in the Daily Mail comments says it's always  21st March, every year, at least that's what she was always told, and that's how it was in the 50s. And she's got upvotes.

Archdruid: What someone was always told is not the same as truth. And it wasn't true in the 50s either. And Diana has no idea what she's talking about. Do you have any concept of objective truth?

All: We're members of a made-up cult worshipping our own feelings. What do you reckon?

Archdruid: Good point. Anyway. See you out here at 6 minutes past three tomorrow morning?

All: What time?

Archdruid: Actually. Shall we just crack on now?

All: All hail the spring! The spring is sprung!