Monday, 18 June 2012

Loving the Alien

I just realised the mistake we've been making. We keep confusing James Lovelock, creator of the Gaia hypothesis, with HP Lovecraft, the creator of Cthulu - easy enough to do, given their names.

That's why the Beaker Folk believe that if we keep burning fossil fuels, we'll be invaded by evil soul-sucking monsters. They'll all be really relieved when I tell them we're all going to die from food shortages, drought and rising sea levels instead.

1 comment :

  1. I've often thought about Alien's. Given that God created the Universe (via Evolution) surely, he must have created more than one race of beings?

    I don't for one moment imagine that all of those beings, will look human, or even be remotely like us (Thank God for that!) but I wonder what they would look like.

    Having had my curiosity peaked by much reading of science fiction and viewing SCIFI programmes and films such as Star Wars and Star Trek, I can see that our imagination always makes Aliens out as some sort of bi-ped, with obvious bits and pieces, which match humanoid form, albeit, with different colours, gills, scales, trunks etc.

    Fictional aliens also seem to have the ability to shape shift, so that they look, act and speak, just like we do. So, I've now started to look again at people I know.

    An example is our Vicar, Curate and Reader. I meet them often and they seem human, dress fairly normally, albeit, there seems to be a fascination with Dog Collars. But, then they go into liturgical mode and they come out looking for all the world, Like Catholic Arch Bishops or Cardinals. All gold, glitter, flowing robes, biretta's and for people who don't smoke, make an awful lot of smoke during their periodic liturgical phases, which strangely enough, seem to strike them on Sundays.

    Their ability to shape shift and to transform themselves into speaking in late medieval tongues is amazing. They have a huge, black leather bound volume, which has a lock and key. They carry it around, held high, making more smoke, while chanting incantations. Than they solemnly unlock it and immediately speak in tongues.

    It's a powerful experience to actually see, meet, and hear shape shifting aliens quite often. I'm told that there are lots of these aliens around the country. Their commander in chief is a wizened, golum like geezer, with a beard, apparently called 'The Grand Tufty'.

    I'm not against discrimination, but surely we need to have some laws protecting us against aliens? I spoke to the Border Agency, who said that they weren't allowed to deport them due to their human rights? How can such aliens be entitled to human rights?

    No, something needs doing. I'm counting on the Arch Druid forming a committee to discuss how to send her shock troops around the country cleansing us of Aliens.


Drop a thoughtful pebble in the comments bowl