Friday, 22 June 2012

The Secret Plot to Convert Richard Dawkins

A commentator on this morning's post reminds us that Richard Dawkins is a fan of the King James Version of the Bible. Indeed I believe (though it's only faith - I can't be bothered to find the evidence) that he was a fan of Michael Gove's absurd scheme to put a copy in ever school in the land.

It's good to know that the Good Professor has fallen into our trap, cunningly-laid over 400 years ago. For it is a little-known fact (because so few read it) that the Bible has a secret message coded into it. This code tells those "in the know" that worshipping God is a good idea, and that faith in Jesus will bring you salvation.

Sure, I know everyone who reads the Biblle superficially thinks it's a self-help book, a guide to the End of the World, contains prophecies of the Rise of the Nazis and the story of how Jesus married Mary Magdalene (leaving a heart-broken St John) and settled down in a bungalow in the Dordogne.

Some, of course, think it's just the pinnacle of the English language (along with Shakespeare and Down With Skool) But nevertheless, the code's been there all along. You've just got to know how to find it. One day soon, Prof D, you mark my words...

In other news, Burton Dasset has called to say he's landed safely. In the sort of unlikely co-incidence that suggest there may be an awful pun posted later on, he drifted due north and landed on the northern fringes of Leicestershire. The bad news is that he'll be home soon. While the good news is that the people of Coalville have adopted Beaker-style worship. They've now got the chance to revive their digging skills by raising long barrows over their dead. Nothing, in the end, is lost.

1 comment :

  1. I've never believed in Richard Dawkins. As a religion he is a waste of space. And if he was to be converted is will probably be as an Isotope in a Radiation experiment for the next Nuclear Reactor.

    Off course, he is into physics, so can probably measure the probability of there being a God, because in his recent conversation with the ABC, he refused to actually say that he was not 100% certain that there wasn't a God. He rated it at about 99.9% that there wasn't which leaves him ample wriggle room.

    And given that the mystery of God can be finite, that 1/2 of 1% is enough wriggle room for believers, God doesn't need wriggle room, he made it.


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