Thursday, 7 February 2013

All be over by Christmas

I've been asked to post the following statement from Darcy O'Hare, the convenor of our Flower Arrangers' Guild.

"Some will be aware that there has been a degree of friction recently between the Flower Arrangers and the Coffee-makers.

The Coffee makers have recently been expressing a need for more space. We could understand this. Coffee mornings are still very popular, and the increased need for supplies for Cafe Church has made the situation more difficult. So we agreed that they could store their sugar in the cupboard used by the Ladies Bright Hour. The Bright Hour didn't object (or, at least, we didn't listen to them) and so this was all very agreeable.

But the Coffee Makers decided that, as part of their so-called "technological arms race", they needed a new espresso machine, and wanted to store it in the Gypsophila Cupboard. Naturally we objected - where can we keep our Gypsophila if there's an espresso machine in the cupboard? But the Coffee-makers would not back down.

Yesterday I woke to find an espresso machine in the Gypsophila Cupboard. I asked for assurances that the machine would be removed. This morning I have received no such assurances.

The Flower Arrangers are now, therefore, at war with the Coffee-makers.

May God bless us all."

12 comments :

  1. Couldn't the Choir offer to arbitrate then both warring factions will have a common enemy and peace will break out between them. They will both hate the Choir, but that's normal so doesn't matter.

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    1. I'm afraid the Quire are too busy fighting each other. It's banjos at dawn round here, I can tell you.

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  2. Surely there's another cupboard available. I know many of them are probably filled with things that have been carefully stored away since they were removed from active use during the renovations of 1805, but at least the people passionately interested in them are now safely dead and unable to engage in active warfare.

    Of course, they might have descendants who are still alive and active...

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    1. We have a horrible feeling that if we open any of the other cupboards, we may find some of our former worshippers.

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  3. Is this a new espresso of church?

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  4. You'll be needing a faculty for that expresso machine anyway (and probably for the Gypsophila too), so you can safely remove the lot and blame it on the Archdeacon...

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    Replies
    1. It's up to me round here. And I'm not getting involved.

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  5. Flower arrangers are biologically programmed to collect cupboard space...and cause churchwardens many headaches. Church cleaners too at times, especially where dustpans and brushes are concerned as these multiply to ensure that at least 42 are stored at any time.

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    1. You never know when they can come in handy.

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  6. if you move that esspresso machine you will have to have it PAT tested. Better go back to using a kettle on the coal-fired range.

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    Replies
    1. And it would have the benefit of feeling all traditional, as well.

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