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Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Food Intolerance

It's a bad Lent already.

 I must admit, I didn't realise I'd fail at giving up being grumpy in the mornings quite so quickly.

I have also failed at trying to read some Karl Barth every day. I mean - one sentence? I was sure I'd be able to manage one sentence a day without sobbing.

I suppose, given I've not yet had breakfast, that I could give vegetarianism a try for six weeks. But in a sense I feel that I've already bolted that horse.

 Still, Bernie the cook is going to help me with simplifying the Beaker People's food faddiness over the season. Obviously we respect people's ethical and health needs. So we have no problems with vegetarianism, veganism (which is vegetarianism for people who understand the dairy and egg industries), or genuine food allergies. We offer dairy-free, celery-free, nut-free, gluten-free and, where we can, horse-free.

 But we're putting a limit on it now. Those people who are "vegetarian but can eat fish" will be given two options. They can either be properly vegetarian, or they can agree to eat any species that is, on average, less intelligent than they are. I realise that, with some of our Beaker folk, these two options amount to the same thing. And, to be honest, even some of the brighter brassicas will probably be feeling fairly safe.

 So it's gonna be a more consistent Lent. I will ignore anyone who claims they are green food intolerant. And there will be no more leeway for Dymphna, who is vegetarian but eats lamb because a sheep looked at her in a funny way once.

The faffing is over. Lent is here.

7 comments:

  1. Revered Archdruid, I once referred to you in a blog as "that benign despot, Archdruid Eileen". Whatever happened to 'benign'?

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    1. Ah now, it's for the good of the soul. Mine that is. Doesn't help them at all. But what can?

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  2. Fish is an honorary vegetable!

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  3. "I must admit, I didn't realise I'd fail at giving up being grumpy in the mornings quite so quickly."

    I am trying to follow the advice "Don't just be yourself. Be someone a little bit nicer" for Lent but failed when I was carved up by a cyclist on the way to work. Still, there were a whole lot of things that I didn't shout at him.

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    1. Or be the You, that You were supposed to be, as some would say. With the caveat that you can't do that by trying hard - Lent or no Lent.

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  4. Good to hear that Beaker folk have given up faffing for Lent. Perhaps they consider taking something up, I hear it's all the rage some in evangelical circles. Personally I would recommend quaffing. (Single malt or a slurpable merlot? )could also support the vegan cause?

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    1. Spose the great thing about taking stuff up is you can leave it till later in Lent. Whereas giving stuff up, you're often kyboshed by day 2.

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