Tuesday, 19 February 2013

The Universe Walks a Tightrope

And so, according to scientists, the days of the Universe may be numbered. Although we can't "number its days", as the Psalmist said, because we don't know when it will end. Just some time, which is hopefully not soon. Or, at least, is Aslan-soon.

I don't know why "according to scientists" is any kind of assurance of fact, mind you. "According to scientists", the only reason women aren't attracted to men who smell of complex aromatic hydrocarbons is because their minds are blinded from the charm, wit and consideration that lurk behind those thick-lensed spectacles. Instead they prefer men who are more obviously ape-descendents - i.e. possessed of thick hair on their heads and physical strength. Although preferably without the grooming habits of their forebears.

I'm pretty sure it was Douglas Adams, or if it wasn't it was somebody equally tall, who told us the exact circumstances in which the end of the world would come to pass:

"....many philosophers theorize that if both the Ultimate Question and the Ultimate Answer were ever to be found at the same time then the Universe would disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable."

All I'm saying is, if anyone asks, the answer's 53. OK?


  1. I'm with those who believe the universe has already been replaced with something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

  2. I'm reminded of a short story by ...?... in which Buddhist monks hired computer programmers to program a computer to do the equivalent of turning prayer wheels until all possible combinations had been created at which point the stars started going out one by one...


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