Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Entering the Kingdom

I shouldn't be on the Office Computer.

But they told me the Moot was on this evening. And they were talking about Children in the Church. And I wanted to hear what they said.

So I hid in the Church Office because you can hear the Moot through the door. And they did Matters Arising. And they all argued about what happened last time. And then Eileen had to play the recording of the Moot she always makes in case there is an argument next time. For three hours.

And then they talked about Children in the Church. And they all said that children are important, because they are the Church of the Future. So is that why they always make the children go out? Because they're not in the Church now? So they have to go out and wait until the future is here, and then they can stay in?

And so they said it is really good there are children. But they have to be quiet. And not fall over. And not run around., And not say anything. But come back at the end with nativities made from toilet rolls. Which is what Eileen did in 1969. Even in the summer, she said. Her house must have been full of toilet roll nativities when Eileen was a young girl.

And then Jazmine said she wasn't going to do the Sunday Club anymore. She said she had to teach all week at Little Pebbles and then on Saturday she did the Messy Pouring Out of Beakers. And Sunday she had us all again. And people said oo but you have a real calling to children's work, Jazmine. And Jazmine said but not all the time, and she was going to have a rest and play the ocarina on Sundays. And they said couldn't she stick with it for a few more years, and she started to cry and said "no I can't stand the little buzzards anymore". At least I think that was what she said. It was hard to hear cos she was screaming a bit.

And then they said who would help Razzi run the Sunday Club from now on, and nobody said they would. And Razzi said she wouldn't run it on her own because it was against Child Protection so the children would all have to be in the Moot House all the time for Sunday service.

And then all the other people started to cry.

And then Burton said why not get all the children to learn the ocarina, and then Jazmine could teach the ocarina for most of the service, and then we could come in and play the last song on the ocarina. And then Burton started shouting "ow ow ow ow" and then Jazmine said oh dear now I've broken all the ocarinas.

So now on Sunday we've got to sit in the Children's Corner with the broken toys and bits of lego which my brother Charlesley sticks up his nose. And the bits of jigsaw puzzle and flannelgraph and old books with pictures of Bible stories. And we can't take in our phones or Wii U and we have to be quiet.

But we will be in the Church all the time.

Does that mean we won't be the Church of the Future anymore? Does that mean we are now the Church of Now? I wonder if that will be different?


  1. Definitely true. Personally I think the kids should be able to tell off the adults for not making enough noise and force them to sit in a cold corner with broken car repair kits and recipe books for entertainment and see how they like it!

  2. Pleased to say that children take centre stage in our Parish and nobody shushes them or tells them to be quiet. We've even had them at the Chancel steps playing with toy cars and it's delightful to see their efforts to be Stirling Moss or John Surtee's (shoiwng my age). After all, we were once the church of the future and what a mess was made of it by us, by being forced to sit quietly, having our penknives confiscated while trying to carve our names in the back of the pews and the occasional accident when they slipped and Mrs Wiggins had an unfortunate tear in her coat. No, confining children isn't the answer. Let them run riot or put them in the Choir where the dragon Choir mistress will control them with just a stare and the strap at choir practice. Problem solved.


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