Thursday, 12 February 2015

The Parable of Drinks After Work on a Friday

There was a certain businesswoman who decided to organise a few drinks after work on a Friday.

So she sent out invites to all her employees. But some went into Junk folders. Some returned out-of-office notifications. And some were ignored because the recipients already had 5,000 unread emails, and the cares of the world overcame them.

And the businesswoman realised that this was turning into completely the wrong parable. So she sent out her Corporate Governance Executive (which is to say in English, dogsbody). And he went unto all the employees and said, "Lo come unto the Temple Brewhouse on Friday evening. Come and drink freely, without cost, to your heart's desire."

But one saith, "I cannot attend because on Fridays I work from home." And another saith, "I get out early on Fridays because lo, that is when my wife hands the kids over for the weekend." And another saith, I live in the place that is called Don-cas-ter. And I cannot tarry in the land that is called The Great Smoke, for lo I live in a pokey studio flat in Kew during the week. Four days do I labour, and on the fifth I lurk around my house in Yorkshire in my pajamas, answering the phone to give an appearance like I am working."

So on Friday at 5, the businesswoman went out unto the open-plan and behold it was like unto the decks of the Marie Celeste.

And the Corporate Governance Executive said unto her, "shall I summon the homeless, the stricken with age and the sellers of the Big Issue, and invite them unto the bar for a wide selection of craft ales, both from London and even unto the shores of San Francisco?

And the businesswoman saith, "Nah, don't be so silly. We'll do it next Thursday instead. "

Conclusion: The Big Society hasn't really taken off.

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